As wine flowed and we continued to chat, Eileen started to talk more openly about her family history and more specifically, about her sister. Barbara, she said, always seemed blue and she was forever in some sort of psychotherapy and/or on mood medication for her depression. Eileen was proud of fact that she had never needed psychotherapy or taken medication to lift her spirits. In fact, she was very clear that she couldn’t understand any one who did.

I listened carefully to Eileen’s version of life, of her certitude that if only one has power of positive thinking and decides to go after what he or she wants, one will achieve his or her goal. It was incomprehensible to her that there could be any reason for anyone to ever “fall apart.” She lived in a world based on ‘wonder woman’ illusions, a world where all people had symbolic gold bracelets that could stop speeding bullets and ensure no emotional harm.

I have heard many people speak as Eileen did, with no comprehension that for some people just getting up in morning is an act of enormous courage and that sometimes they needed all help they could get just to make it through day. For a variety of reasons, many that we know, and just as many that we don’t, some people are like tea bags: put them in hot water and they do grow stronger. Others, worn out, also like tea bags, tear and break, messily spilling their contents adrift in boiling water.

After years as a psychologist, as someone who has “seen it all,” I know less about what makes difference between those who make it through life with ease and those who don’t than I ever did. What I do know though, is for those that get through life with minimal scalding, I rejoice. And for those who need help, I stretch out my hand.

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

It is time to stop and think about way your own life is structured. Do you have your priorities straight? Do you make time for yourself, for your loved one(s), for your children, your friends? Do you exercise, eat well, and take care of your spiritual self? When is last time you had a relaxed meal, together at home? Is where you live a place of business, a place to sleep, or does structure, be it a room, apartment or house really function as a home?

If you give to yourself first, in a healthy selfish-self-caring way, second, to those you love and third to work, your chances of having a happy home and full work life will improve. If you increasingly give at office, you risk winding up with equivalent of an empty pocket with a hole in it. The more you put into your empty pocket, bigger hole, and before you know it, life as you wish is life as you wish not—-chaotic, up-side-down, and slipping through that ever expanding torn hole. Sew up that empty hole and make your life whole. Give at home first and at office second. Everyone will benefit, especially you.

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.