People Are Like Tea BagsWritten by Dr. Dorree Lynn
Put them in hot water and they grow stronger — except for those that don’t.On a recent trip to a distant state, my husband and I unexpectedly met a couple visiting same sightseer’s monument that we were. After speaking for a while, one of those delightful and unexpected light bulbs went on and we realized they were related to two close friends of ours. So of course, we decided to hang out longer than we had planned and soon we were having dinner and talking as if we had to know everything we could about each other. We talked like long lost friends and because we knew we would probably never see each other again. We spoke secrets — way one does with their hairdresser or person you sit next to on a plane. Instant intimacy secured with sureness that no real intimacy or connection would ever develop. They were a vivacious couple, happily married for over thirty years, developers of a thriving business and parents of three wonderful grown children. Eileen had been “bad” sister who was always in trouble, child, whose parents never expected to amount to anything positive. She had dropped out of high school and her parents had suggested that she get a job and not even bother finishing her basic education. Barbara, her “good” sister had breezed through school with excellent grades and a fine reputation. She had always made her parents proud. Barbara and her husband were our close friends. Although we thought we knew them relatively well, we had never heard about Eileen and her family. We thought it strange that we never knew that they existed. Quite rightly so, Eileen and her husband, were very proud of their accomplishments. They were delighted with fact that they had fooled world and that they had played a cosmic joke on all who had predicted their failure. Following their own adventurous path, they had achieved success that everyone told them they never would.
| | Give At The Office: Empty At HomeWritten by Dr. Dorree Lynn
As stigma of seeking therapy has diminished, serious therapists have themselves become scapegoats and symbols for much that is wrong with mental health field. This distrust of therapeutic professions comes at a time when there is an increasing unraveling of relationships, family, and community and society needs good therapists more than ever. While Internet has brought us easy access to instant information and provided us with chat rooms to visit when we are lonely, Internet is itself responsible for many of new problems facing us, as real structures that constitute a dependable emotional safety net are being eroded.In an attempt to make work place more inviting and employees more productive, new work environment may include amenities such as gyms, child-care centers, kitchens, valet and concierge services, sleeping rooms, and even rooms for worship. The underside of this shift towards “office as home” is that it is in direct competition with, and can seriously challenge, quality of family life. Thus, while improving work place—a major and important cultural construct—is all to good, it is, at same time, contributing to erosion of an even more important cultural construct, family. Family time is becoming sparse and scattered. Even those who work at home often lose their boundaries and find that work life and home life merge into one. Husbands and wives stop communicating, lovemaking disappears and children get shuttled from one activity to another or shunted from one ex to another.
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