A client of mine was recently struggling with lack of passion in her life. I asked her if her parents were passionate about anything. "No," she said. "The smoked constantly, drank beer, and watched TV. They were nice to me, but they were both sick a lot and both died at young ages. I never saw either of them excited about anything." This woman in her late forties had no idea of how to discover her passions and her life felt dead to her. Her husband had expressed a lack of interest in her because he actually found her to be boring, and was no longer sexually interested in her. This is what brought her to work with me.

Let’s take role modeling a little further. Are you honest, or do you let your children think it’s okay to withhold truth or even lie outright. Do you role model integrity, or do you behave in ways that you would not want announced in a newspaper? Do you stand up for yourself, or do you let others walk all over you? Do you tolerate abusive situations or do your children see you take action in your own behalf?

It’s very important to realize that, while being there for your children is vital, it is only half of good parenting. The other half is being there for yourself with honesty, courage and integrity. It’s not enough to treat your children with love. You need to treat yourself with love as well if you want your children to grow up knowing how to take loving care of themselves.

If your parents did not role model treating themselves lovingly, chances are you don’t know how to do it for yourself. Treating yourself lovingly is something that is a learned skill. The six-step Inner Bonding process (see our FREE course at www.innerbonding.com) was developed specifically for this purpose. The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is learn these six powerful steps and practice them on a daily basis. Your children will naturally learn how to take responsibility for themselves - for their health and emotional well-being - as you learn to do this for yourself. Give yourself and your children gift of joy that comes from truly loving yourself!

For some reason, we fail to apply same logic to our relationships. People start talking about how they’ve lost spark or they’ve got communication issues as reasons to leave. We forget all time and energy invested in getting to this point and all we can think about is running for hills. It’s worth noting at this point that “leaving” happens on many levels and even subtle withdrawals damage our relationships. I know this because I’ve done it myself. In fact, given my own wiring I’m still prone to want to bolt when it gets rough.

This power struggle is a totally predictable piece of relating with your loved one. It’s time when Mr. or Mrs. Perfect suddenly becomes one of your parents or an ex-partner. For some complicated, yet unavoidable reason, this is always going to happen. The best news is that only way out is through.

Sometimes we just need some basic tools and good skills. You can visit my website for suggestions of great books to get you up to speed. http://www.thegreatrelationshipcoach.com/stuff.htm

I guarantee that a relationship filled with romance and passion is more fun than most gadgets. And remember, if you’re going to get expert help make sure you find someone who believes in fixing relationship you are in. There are plenty of cowboys all to ready to sell you a new car.