Parents - What Kind of Role Model Are You?Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: Parents - What Kind of Role Model Are You? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 694 Category: Parenting PARENTS - WHAT KIND OF ROLE MODEL ARE YOU? Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Are you being person you want your children to be? Many parents today really try to be better parents than their parents were. They attempt to be there for their children - to listen to them, support them, spend time with them, as well as hold and nurture them. Their children grow up feeling loved and valued by these loving parents, yet often these same children struggle as adults in many areas of their lives. I have numerous clients who tell me that they had wonderful parents who truly loved and nurtured them, yet these clients are struggling with their work, their relationships, or their lives in general. Why is this? The common issue is that their parents did not role model for them personal responsibility for their own feelings, needs, and physical health. They did not teach them through their own behavior how to take good care of themselves physically or emotionally. So, what are you teaching your children through your own behavior? Do you role model following your passions, or do you spend your spare time watching TV? Do you role model taking good care of your health, or do you smoke cigarettes, eat badly and get little exercise? Do you have a spiritual practice that is meaningful to you and moves you into your heart, or do you stay mostly in your head? Do you have a process for managing your conflicts with others, or do you tend to withdraw, get angry, resist or comply as a way to control or avoid conflict? Do your children see you avoiding life’s difficulties with alcohol, drugs, gambling, spending, TV or other addictive behavior, or learning from life’s challenges? Are you boring because you just try to be safe and maintain status quo, or do you extend yourself and take some risks that result in aliveness and vitality?
| | Relationship Lost Its Spark?Written by Michael Myerscough
A Mechanical MetaphorOver years of reading self-help books, it’s become obvious to me that I rarely find one that I could get my Dad, or most other men, to read. They’re just not written in a way that men can relate to. Interestingly, I’ve noticed that computer and other gadget companies are beginning to catch on to this fact. When we unwrap our latest piece of high-tech gadgetry, we now have a choice to opt for Quick Start Guide or plough our way through entire manual. For most of us men, that’s a no brainer. We want to play with toy, not find out how to build it. My Dad is a mechanic and he taught me that given a few basic tools and a decent skill set most things can be fixed. When it comes to engines he is a genius. He can tell you what’s wrong with your car by just listening to it. His skill is so fine-tuned; he can diagnose your car trouble over phone. Grown men used to bring their cars over to him in tears, convinced this was finally end. My Dad would take it to bits, figure out if a fuel line was blocked, determine if there was too much friction in one area, or if there was not enough connection in another. Then he’d put it back together and just like magic, car would run again. To my father engines were predictable; he knew what to look for. Take spark plug. If it stops sparking, your engine stops running and your wheels stop turning. To a mechanic, it’s very predictable that your spark plugs will last only a certain amount of miles and then need replacing. So given that a spark plug will cost you about £3.50 (let’s not talk about labour costs), how many of you would divorce your car at this point? No you wouldn’t, because you understand that your car is a sizable investment.
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