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The actress Bette Davis was quoted as saying, "If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent." I believe this because I believe that my job is not to be my child's friend, but to be his guide, mentor, and teacher for handling
challenges of life. If I don't, then who will? And besides, there's plenty of time to be his or her friend after they have grown to adulthood, had same experiences in world, and can relate on an adult level. There is a huge difference between being 'friendly' and being 'friends.'
To many, I'm sure that all of this seems harsh and many, I'm certain, have already stopped reading altogether. My point is simple. We, as parents and teachers are teaching your children regardless of whether we open our mouths and say words in lesson or not.
If we're to teach our children to do what's important, not just what feels good...
...if we are to teach them value of committing to a worthwhile endeavor because it's worthwhile, not just because it's easy or convenient...
...if we're to teach them to not be quitters in game of life...
...we must instill lessons whether they like us for it or not.
How else can we possibly teach, and have our children practice, things like commitment if we never provide opportunities for them to commit or allow them to quit because something's not fun? When was last time our creditors allowed us to stop paying our bills because doing so wasn't fun?
Edward, English monarch once commented in a condescending way that we have troubles we do because American parents obey their children instead of other way around. After a decade and a half of watching and helping parents to help their children, I don't know if he's right but I do know that, parents who are most committed to their child's development, regardless of daily whims of child - this entity who is changing so rapidly that they don't want same things from moment-to-moment, let alone from year-to-year - usually have much more successful adults to be proud of when their children grow up. It is those who commit to teaching commitment, and a hundred other lessons, who are blessed with a child grown to adulthood who can commit to themselves and others and who can be counted on to 'be there' when going gets tough.
Can you imagine? What a world we would live in if all those we met were such a person as this.
Jeffrey M. Miller is the founder and master instructor of Warrior Concepts International. He specializes in teaching the ancient ways of self-protection and personal development lessons in a way that is easily understood and put to use by modern Western students and corporate clients. He may be contacted through his site www.warrior-concepts-online.com.
