Oh, and here's a not-so-secret secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good that your partner will be affected and grateful enough to start paying more attention as well. See how that works?

Just as some people expect to have meaningful family dinners with television blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos in their heads.

Not possible.

By bringing mindfulness to bedroom and beyond, you will also bring a greater sense of intention and focus, and your body will do a lot better when your mind is on same page. Instead of following those magazine articles that tell you "what do to in bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!" it would be more beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words, do only that which you are doing, and nothing else.

The next time you get lucky, get mindful. Be Right There, fully immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving communications with your partner. Put your whole heart--and mind--into it.

Now, that's sexy.

Here is what you do:

Week 1: Practice looking in eyes of strangers and smile. Do not look away from people.

Week 2: Say hi to a minimum of 7 people you do not know.

Week 3: Arrange a meeting with 2 people you do not know very well.

Week 4: Organize a meeting or a night out with a group of people you do not regularly spend time with.

Within a month, I guarantee you will become more comfortable around strangers if you follow this schedule. Work on a different aspect every month and your social skills will dramatically improve.

The key to overcoming shyness is setting well-defined goals and persisting. No one ever said overcoming shyness was easy. What you need to do is regard it as an important aspect of your life and take it as seriously as you take your career, family and friends. Concentrate and persist and you will overcome your shyness.