CHURCH SINGLES GROUPS & SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASSES

Many churches and religious institutions actively minister to singles and offer Sunday School classes, Bible study, small groups, social events, and volunteer opportunities. Ask other singles where good ones are, and call around to some churches to see what they offer singles.

SPEED DATING OR PRE-DATING

Speed dating or pre-dating is another option. Either in-person at a public location, or by phone and Internet, you meet people in your age and interest category in short (6 minutes?) “pre-dates”. (See www.pre-dating.com .)

“We facilitate whole thing,” say these folks, who schedule events in various cities throughout US, “so there’s no awkwardness, no pressure, no embarrassment and no games … just great fun!” Couples who indicate a mutual interest are given each other’s contact information after event.

Here are some of categories: Singles (ages 40-49); Jewish Singles, Single Parents, Interracial (White Men/Black Women), Latin/Speakers of Spanish Singles; Younger Women (25-39) / Older Men (40-55), Younger Men (25-37) / Older Women (38-49), Athletic Singles, East / West Indian Singles, Marriage Minded Singles, Smokers / Smoker Tolerant Singles, Tall Women (5/10”+) / Tall Men, and Singles without Children.

Sample venue? Complimentary quesadilla bar and happy hour drink specials from 4:30 – 7:30 p.m., held on a Wednesday night, cost is around $35. They say you’ll connect with about 10-12 people.

What if you fit one category but want to date within another? Say you’re a 60 year old man who likes to date 25 year olds, or a tall women who prefers short men? Pre-dating.com says they “favor diversity” and will try to accommodate, but only allow about 1 in 10 to be out-of-category.

Initially I thought this mode best for extraverts who love frenzy and sheer numbers, but introverts could also do well because they’re perceptive and get a chance to visit one-on-one, which is their forte.

DANCING

Dancing is great fun and exercise, and a great way to meet new people of all ages. Check out local dance venues to see if they’re offering dance classes. You can brush up on your skills at a local dancing school, and also meet other singles there.

Or take group lessons at local dance halls which offer them free (or for little) early in evening to help fill up place on “off” nights. Even fabled Bill Bob’s offers dance lessons on Thursday nights, in their case bringing in national talent to teach it, but if your town’s like mine, you’ll be amazed at local talent.

To locate a dancing teacher near you, go here: http://www.dancespots.net/Find/FindATeacher.asp?SE=Y .

CONCLUSION

These are just a few of ways you can put yourself around other single people in a more structured way and get a jump on a social life. Active participation allows you to meet other singles, possibly for dating, while also meeting friends, enjoying your life, going new places, trying new things, learning new skills, and having fun.

When we don’t feel safe on inner level, then we try to make ourselves feel safe on outer level, and clutter is one way of doing that. Whether it’s things, such as hair dryers, or information, such as in magazines and newspapers, clutterers do not trust that they will have what they need. In addition, clutterers may be resistant people who see messiness and clutter as a way of not being controlled by someone who wants them to be neat.

HEALING THE ADDICTION TO CLUTTER

Clutter is created and maintained by a wounded, frightened part of oneself, wounded self – part that operates from illusion of having control over people, events, and outcomes. As long as this wounded self is in charge of decisions, clutterer will continue to accumulate clutter as a way to provide comfort and illusion of control over feeling safe, or continue to be messy as a way to resist being controlled.

Healing occurs when individual does inner work necessary to develop a strong, loving adult self. A loving adult is aspect of us that opens to and connects with a spiritual source of wisdom, strength, and love. A loving adult is capable of taking loving action in our own behalf. The loving adult operates from truth rather than from false beliefs of wounded self, and knows that comfort and safety that clutter seems to provide is an illusion – that no matter how much clutter accumulates, clutterer still feels afraid. The loving Adult knows that safety and integrity do not lie in resistance. Only a loving adult who is tuned in to guidance provided by a spiritual source and capable of taking loving action in one’s own behalf can create a sense of inner safety.

Practicing six steps of Inner Bonding that we teach develops this powerful loving adult.