What are you avoiding? What area are you ignoring? WHY?

How do you react if someone accuses you of becoming a fanatic about something? Do you laugh, knowing it isn't true? Do you smirk, knowing that on some days it may be true?

Do you frown, wondering why everyone can't see that it's just your passion?

Do you get angry and defensive, because people are always accusing you of being a fanatic?

Check in. Are you in balance? If you are running 6 miles a day and have everything in your life perfectly balance, that's one thing. If you are running 6 miles a day and all hell is breaking loose at home or work, then you are simply running away from your life.

Think about it. Use your mind. You can't be excellent if you aren't balanced.

And you DO want to be excellent, right?

Keep thinking!

* Build and Strengthen Social Supports A strong social support system is always important. During a time of extremes loss, it is vital to recovery. Do you have good, supportive friends? Do they have time and energy that they can offer to you during this period of grieving? What about religious ties? A church, temple or other community of like-minded believers? Do you have good support from any family members? What about organizations that you have participated in and given your time and energy to? Can they now give something back to you? These are a few of supports that you can turn to. Make sure you PLAN well for weekends, holidays and other significant days. Let people know you want to get together and that you want to get out regularly and stay active and involved. This allows others to offer their support and remember to include you in group activities, etc.

*Give Yourself Time Getting over loss of someone you love takes time. It is a process. It doesn't take "forever." You will move on and recover. But beware of that feeling that is often expressed of "I don't know what's wrong with me, it's been months and I'm still not over it." The months SEEM like forever, but you know they are a relatively short period of time. You need to give yourself that time or run strong risk of getting stuck for (perhaps years) in quicksand of grief.

*Set Realistic Goals This is a time to prioritize and decide what you most want and need and to make a realistic plan for achieving it. Goals will keep you focused and on-track. They will provide a compass as you navigate your way to a new life. They will help you to achieve success and to boost your self-esteem. This achievement will help you to feel strong and capable of beginning a new life. *Things To Avoid When enveloped in grief and loss, we have to be careful not to respond in dysfunctional ways. Some classic examples of poor coping behaviors include: overuse of alcohol use of illegal drugs ignoring signs of serious depression sexual acting out recklessness with finances ignoring basic safety and placing self in risky situations These are all result of low self-esteem, guilt and feelings of hopelessness. With good supports and utilization of healthy ways to express feelings, you will be at far less risk of using these self-injurious behaviors. Remember, we must be willing to accept grief as a possible price of experiencing love. Many, many people have gone through process of loss and despair and come out strong, whole and ready for a new life. Along way, they often come to know themselves better and to understand what they most need and want from their relationships. Armed with this new experience and knowledge they are then ready to form new, healthy and lasting relationships.