Massage Your Mind!: Are You a Fanatic?Written by Maya Talisman Frost
Are you a fanatic?No, really. Is there something that you do that has taken over your time and energy? Life is full of responsibilities. As parents, partners, employees, children, siblings or pet owners, we have duties. But our goal as an excellent human is to fulfill our roles while maintaining a balanced life. And, although it may take a bit of creative juggling, it's generally quite possible to do so. One of interesting things about duty is that it has a way of making us go to extremes. Sometimes we choose to avoid a particular duty altogether. Other times we start off with best of intentions, but somehow end up going overboard. Think about it. Whether it's work, money, relationships, health and fitness, sex, or happiness, we know people who have become fanatics about one particular area to point that they ignore others. Nothing should be all-consuming. NOTHING. If you find yourself devoting more time and energy to one area than most others combined, you need to take a good look at WHY you have taken a duty, converted it into a passion, and then catapulted it into your avoidance technique of choice.
| | Haunted: Burying The Ghosts Of Lost LoveWritten by Toni Coleman
Late at night, as you read quietly, before you fall off to sleep... During a busy afternoon as you run through a crowd, hurrying back to your office or home.... Sitting in a movie theater, a restaurant or waiting for light to turn... A sudden thought or image rises within you. It can come as a small nagging feeling or as a wave of emotion that threatens to overwhelm and drown you in grief of a memory. Either way it's clear; here comes his/her ghost again. For those who are haunted by a past relationship, instinctive response is often to run away from these feelings or to pretend they just aren't there. It is also not uncommon to react by setting your system on "anger mode" and seeing everything and everyone in a negative light. Shutting down all ability to handle even simple routine tasks of daily life is another response, and one that signals depression. This one needs to be addressed quickly, as it can leave a trail of destruction in it's path. These defense mechanisms are employed as a way of coping and to "get through day." However, when these responses become prolonged and ingrained, we can get stuck in grieving process that accompanies loss. This is where ghosts come in. All loss, especially absence of someone with whom we were intimate, results in sadness, anger, denial, fear, depression and guilt. These feelings are normal. However, how we respond to them will make difference in how well we recover and move on to a new and healthy life. In order to work through grief and finally lay those ghosts to rest, you may need some help with important do's and don'ts of grieving. The following is a basic primer to get you started. Things To Do: * Acknowledge Feelings Denial can provide a very short-term way to cope with loss, but will compound bottling up of destructive feelings that need to find a healthy outlet for expression. Allowing yourself to feel, helps you to understand that what you are feeling is normal and therefore, you are not "crazy" or alone. It also opens way to learning how to cope and move towards a positive resolution. Over time you will learn that feelings won't kill you, and that you are strong and able to confront them and move on. * Express Anger Safely and Productively Fear of our own anger is normal. This is why we have so much difficulty expressing it to others. We imbue it with a power that is beyond our control and something that can only be destructive. Therefore, we stuff everything inside. Pressure builds and we explode, and out comes "anger monster"; a creation of our own inability to deal with anger when it is at a lower, more manageable level. There are safe ways to express these feelings. Crying, talking to friends, writing down feelings and even engaging in some physically demanding labor are all healthy ways to release your anger. *Take Care Of Yourself This seems to be one of things we most neglect when loss strikes. Not caring for even basic needs is one of faces of grief. It can also be a sign of a dangerous depression. Therefore, it has to be a priority. Basic needs are what usually require attention. These include: adequate sleep, eating right, taking care of minimal household and financial responsibilities and attention to personal grooming. In addition, exercise not only provides a great outlet for stress, it has been proven in clinical trials to be effective in lessening depression in a significant number of people. Regular exercise can also offer assistance to those who have difficulty sleeping and heightens self-esteem.
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