Controlling Your Emotions - Mary's husband demeaned her again and then struck her in face. She told herself he was a good man and couldn't help doing that, and that it didn't really hurt. She “knew” there was nothing she could do about it, so she ignored her blinding headache and cramping stomach, and went on about her housework. KEY POINT

When you manage your emotions, you can 'get' important information they are bringing to you, and then decide whether to respond, and if so, how, when and where.

BENEFITS

When you can manage your emotions and develop your emotional intelligence, your life will work better.

RELATED DISTINCTIONS

Pulling gently on bit vs. Whipping horse and using spurs

Driving car vs. Riding gas pedal and brake

Leading elephant out of living roomvand back where it belongs vs. Pretending elephant in living room isn't there

Evan was stubborn and withholding in his relationship with Esmerelda. He would not give her what she wanted under any circumstances. He would ask her where she wanted to go for dinner. She would say, “Mexican food.” He would say, “No.” She would ask him to suggest something and he would say again, “No, you choose.” KEY POINT

It's good to persevere, and not good to be stubborn. When you persevere, you are working toward a positive goal that's attainable. You are flexible and creative in pursuing possible alternatives toward your goal.

When you're being stubborn, you're either being negative to yourself (refusing to give up when you should), or to others (refusing to do what they want or to give them what they want), or to something (being in denial and refusing to face facts).

BENEFITS

When you persevere, you make things happen. When you're being stubborn, you don't allow anything to happen. Being stubborn accomplishes nothing.

RELATED DISTRINCTIONS

Being open to new possiblities vs. Saying no to new possibilities

Making suggestions vs. Just saying no to other people's suggestions