Managing Emotions vs. Controlling EmotionsWritten by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
DEFINITIONSManaging Your Emotions - Being aware of your emotions and letting them happen. Understanding where they come from and what they mean. "Getting" message they are sending. Knowing that you have a choice in how you respond to them. Controlling Your Emotions - Shutting down when you're feeling an emotion. Not letting it surface. Stuffing it down. Not getting message it's trying to give you. Faking it. Forcing yourself not to feel what you're feeling. Denying what you're feeling. COMPARISONS Being in touch with your emotions vs. Being out of touch with your emotions Experiencing your emotions and deciding what you will do with this information vs. Shutting down emotion, or reacting to it in a knee jerk fashion Allowing all your emotions as valid sources of information vs. Being willing to allow only certain emotions you consider proper EXAMPLE Managing Your Emotions - As John James sat in meeting, he realized his pulse was racing, his jaw was clamped, and his knee was bouncing up and down. When he examined source, he realized that his manager was once again belittling staff and claiming credit for what others had done and this was making him angry. He decided to quit pretending things were going to change, and to get his resume ready.
| | Perseverance vs. Being StubbornWritten by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
DEFINITIONSPerseverance - To go on resolutely in spite of opposition, importunity, or obstacles; to remain unchanged or fixed in a specified character, condition, or position; to stick with something, especially something difficult or challenging Being stubborn - Bring unreasonably or perversely unyielding; mulish; unyielding and unopen to reason; performed or carried on in an obstinate or rigid manner; difficult to handle, manage or treat COMPARISONS Going forward vs. Stonewalling Working toward something vs. Refusing to do something Having a positive goal vs. Having a negative goal EXAMPLE Henry Ward Beecher said, "The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and and other from a strong won't." Selina persevered in her goal of becoming a teacher. She kept at it despite a lot of obstacles. At one point she had to stop and take a job to pay tuition. At another time, her study was interrupted when her husband was transferred. To get her degree and become a teacher took a lot of time, energy and money, but she persevered and achieved her goal.
|
