Advice: Managing Emotions vs. Controlling Emotions

Managing Emotions vs. Controlling Emotions

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

DEFINITIONS

Managing Your Emotions - Being aware of your emotions and letting them happen. Understanding where they come from and what they mean. "Getting" repparttar message they are sending. Knowing that you have a choice in how you respond to them.

Controlling Your Emotions - Shutting down when you're feeling an emotion. Not letting it surface. Stuffing it down. Not getting repparttar 101619 message it's trying to give you. Faking it. Forcing yourself not to feel what you're feeling. Denying what you're feeling. COMPARISONS

Being in touch with your emotions vs. Being out of touch with your emotions

Experiencing your emotions and deciding what you will do with this information vs. Shutting down repparttar 101620 emotion, or reacting to it in a knee jerk fashion

Allowing all your emotions as valid sources of information vs. Being willing to allow only certain emotions you consider proper

EXAMPLE

Managing Your Emotions - As John James sat in repparttar 101621 meeting, he realized his pulse was racing, his jaw was clamped, and his knee was bouncing up and down. When he examined repparttar 101622 source, he realized that his manager was once again belittling repparttar 101623 staff and claiming credit for what others had done and this was making him angry. He decided to quit pretending things were going to change, and to get his resume ready.

Perseverance vs. Being Stubborn

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

DEFINITIONS

Perseverance - To go on resolutely in spite of opposition, importunity, or obstacles; to remain unchanged or fixed in a specified character, condition, or position; to stick with something, especially something difficult or challenging

Being stubborn - Bring unreasonably or perversely unyielding; mulish; unyielding and unopen to reason; performed or carried on in an obstinate or rigid manner; difficult to handle, manage or treat

COMPARISONS

Going forward vs. Stonewalling

Working toward something vs. Refusing to do something

Having a positive goal vs. Having a negative goal

EXAMPLE

Henry Ward Beecher said, "The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and and repparttar other from a strong won't."

Selina persevered in her goal of becoming a teacher. She kept at it despite a lot of obstacles. At one point she had to stop and take a job to pay repparttar 101618 tuition. At another time, her study was interrupted when her husband was transferred. To get her degree and become a teacher took a lot of time, energy and money, but she persevered and achieved her goal.

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