The ultimate freezer spell however, in terms of sheer nastiness, is this BREAK THEM UP freezer spell in which you write offending couple's names on a piece of paper (if you don't know name of person coming between you write "unknown rival") You put pieces of paper in a Tupperware container along with a piece of rotten fish, fill it with water and freeze it. Fish are symbols of fertility and happiness, so ultimate purpose of this ritual is to have two lovers become turned off from each other. One person, who tried this spell, told me she laughed her head off, when her boyfriend came back to her and complained that his new lover had terrible B.O. I haven't tried this one myself, but she says it worked. Lexa Rosean also boasts success with this one. I can't guarantee these spells work, but if you are too chicken to enact some real revenge (like turn person into I.R.S.) these little rituals at least satisfy a desire for "petty revenge".

Many of you will protest these findings and insist that you can make up for your lack of physical beauty with personality, charm and talent. Sorry! According to Randy Thornhill of University of New Mexico, when it comes to procreation, "beauty is everything. " Both men and women look for symmetry in a partner, as, a long, long time ago, in jungle, asymmetry led us to believe that our partner was riddled with horrible parasites. Also, men prefer women with little chins because estrogen is involved with jaw development. Evidence of estrogen makes them go "Aha!

Fertility! An excellent place to deposit a seed!" Women especially complain that "he tells me he loves me, but he doesn't act like it." According to Buss, over millenniums men have developed capacity for deceitful smooth-talking to fool women, who have evolved inbuilt lie-detectors to counteract this problem. The male knows a woman won't sleep with him if he has intentions to run off afterwards, so he lies to her. That is why women spend so much time engaged in do-you-think-he-really-loves-me routine with their girlfriends. However, men have evolved to think that they actually believe lies they're spouting; he is sincere in moment, that is -- until he gets want he wants.

Even more infuriating, at least to women, is results of Buss's studies on post-coital attraction. Apparently, when asked how they felt about a partner after sex, most males said they were "less attracted" while most women said they were "more attracted". I guess Mom was right about saving it 'til you're married.

Love is only disease where people actually seek out punishment. Unfortunately, only cure for love is loneliness. So if you find yourself all alone this Valentine's Day, take heart. At least you're sane.