There are many ways to boost your opinion of yourself. I recently discovered that just letting go of wanting your own approval works really well. Simply ask yourself following question:

Could I let go of wanting my own approval?

Sounds too simple to work. I know! It works if and only if you ask question with your attention on your feeling response not on answer that pops into your head. Our goal is to let go of limiting feelings, this is not a mental exercise.

Spend twenty minutes concentrating on this question. Ask question again and again, and each time just notice your feeling response before asking question again. After twenty minutes you can expect to feel lighter and more at peace with yourself. Your breathing may also change and it is likely to become deeper and more relaxed.

The effect of letting go of wanting your approval is that you release limitations that stop you from approving of yourself and you are left with what you wanted - your own approval.

You can also ask yourself question, could I let go of wanting my own approval?... anytime you need to communicate at your best to make a good impression. Just say it softly to yourself under your breath or quietly inside your head. Ask question, notice your feeling response, and repeat process again and again.

By approving completely of yourself you will not be concerned with winning approval of your listeners and ironically people will tend to reflect this approval back to you since they will take you at your own value.

Now, go and prove this for yourself!

There was nothing wrong here, nothing that Kevin was doing needed to be corrected. I knew that Kevin would get around to finishing system before too long ... but I wanted him to know, as well, that I knew what was going on. A gentle nudge was all it took to get Lori taken care of, as well as to deliver message that I had other information sources than just one's that Kevin knew about.

Remember to keep in touch with other people as well, although perhaps not as often. You should talk to vendors, business partners, peers, and anyone else that might come in contact with your people. Just talk to them (these are not interrogations) and file away comments in your mind for appropriate time.

Of course, if during these conversations you find out anything that does need to be handled, then by all means do it.

What is purpose of all of this? It's very straightforward. You are building up respect. You see, a boss that knows what's happening at all times is much more likely to be obeyed and respected than one who is not. It's hard to respect someone who is ignorant.

It's very easy and actually quite fun when you get hang of it. Sometimes shocked look on someone's face when you indicate that you knew about such and such is a reward all on it's own.

How do you use this information? Get into habit of asking your people questions. You might ask them how they feel about their workplace environment or whether their work is challenging enough for them (this shows that you care). Then you might commend them for working an extra hour a few days ago (how heck did you know that, employee will think). You might ask another employee else how food was at Black Angus day before, or ask if employee needed help on Anderson project.

You see technique? You are asking your people for their opinions and feelings, which means that you care about them. You know what's going on, which means they are much less likely to do something wrong, as they understand that you will find out (there will be no doubt in their minds).

Simply put, you respect your people enough to keep in touch with them, and they will return that respect a hundred times over.

And that's all there is to that.