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Consequences imply that you are both consciously aware of your words, attitudes, and behavior and impact or meaning it will have for other. We all act in ways that are familiar to us. Learning how these habits, thoughts, and feelings will be interpreted by other, is always part of a loving relationship.
Commitment means just that. You are both committed to your love and he or she is most special person in your life. A major problem in this arena, especially in relationships where one or other has a history of being burned, is learning how to “claim” other and let world know that they are special to you. One reason married people wear wedding bands it to sing out to all that they are out of circulation and that they are committed to someone they love.
Conflict Resolution does not mean that you are not supposed to argue or disagree. It means that you need to learn how to resolve your differences in a positive way. The idea is not to belittle other, but rather to exchange your frustrations in an open way and come to an agreement. Both people may be right. It is learning how you can each get what you want, instead of being right that is crucial.
Communication, communication, communication. As military motto goes: “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” A loving relationship takes work, constant communication about what is wonderful and about thorns in one’s side. Without open communication, a truly loving relationship can quickly deteriorate.
Think about five “C’s” when you think that all you need is love. Check out difference between that concept and reality of a loving relationship.
Life is too hard to do alone,
Dorree Lynn, PH.D.
Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.