What keeps my astonishment going is thought that Carla has really tried to live her life as if she is normal. Imagine her jet skiing. That’s really cool! And, to use her knowledge and dedication for things that she loves to do reflect how she wants to be remembered – I must say, she’s someone who has no inhibitions and limitations.

This story is an eye-opener to people who have lost their self-esteem and perseverance due to their disability or sickness. They must all realize how beautiful world is and that they will always have a special place in this world. They definitely have much to offer in this world if they will only be given chance. After all, there are basically many Carla-Helen Toth’s who are waiting to be recognized and appreciated.

Carla-Helen Toth’s death is certainly a big loss to her family, her friends, her co-workers, and to people – esp. disabled ones – who look up to her for her greatness, brilliance and vitality. Her memories will definitely be remembered and cherished forever.

In his 1996 book, Contemporary Interpersonal Theory and Research, Donald Kiesler provided us with a behavior concordance model which explains Interpersonal Reflex Principle. This basically states that much of our interpersonal behavior is designed to elicit predictable responses from those with whom we interact. These actions put into motion a cycle where one’s behavior is constantly confirming, recognizing, validating and influencing behavior of others. Sounds complicated but it is not. In essence we are training people what we like and don’t like.

A dog, for example, repeats good behavior rewarded. However, if you reward a dog for unwanted behavior like begging at table, dog will repeat that behavior and always beg. To fake an orgasm is to confirm to your partner that what they were doing was good. This creates a positive feeling in your partner and they will do more of same. Unlike dog, training your partner to perform this trick will not leave you begging for more.

Trying to break cycle will confuse your partner creating doubt. Your partner will lose confidence and never know when to trust you, is he pleasing you or not? When this happens sex will only get worse and relationship strained.

“To answer question should women fake it? No! Never fake it.”

Problems, as much as we would like them to, do not just go away. The longer you go without confronting and handling them, bigger they become. Sexual dissatisfaction is one of leading causes of couples splitting up. The number one reason for sexual dissatisfaction is lack of communication. Forgoing communication and opting to simply fake it will only widen gap between you two and ultimately ruin relationship.

It is vital that you develop a level of communication with your partner that allows for frank and honest about sex talk. But, how do you tell your partner what turns you on? First set ground rules between yourselves that sex talk is healthy, fun and in no way to be taken in an offensive manner, then:

Talk during sex. Don’t be afraid of hurting your partner’s ego by taking time to teach them what brings you most pleasure. Men in particular are very eager and happy students in this area. Just relax. It is ok to ask, “Do you like this?” or “How does this feel?” By all means, if you are asked such questions, be honest with your answers: “Yes, that feels good.” or, “I liked it when you did this instead” and, “It really turns me on when you do this.” Never ask after sex, “Was it good?” I can tell you that no one likes to be asked this question. File it under same category as “Do I look fat in this?”

Talk about sex when you are not having sex. Ask questions and keep learning more about each other. Tell each other your fantasies and be willing to explore them, within reason. Opening and maintaining these communication lines will make you both more comfortable about subject. Talking can also serve to build excitement as prolonged foreplay.

Buy books and explore together. Here is another peculiar aspect. We want sex, think about sex and are bombarded with it all over television, movies and advertisements. Oddly, very few of us study anything about it. A man will invest an exorbitant amount of time learning parts of an engine or memorizing sports stats, but spends zero time learning about female orgasm. Both women and men should take every opportunity to become students of sex together. Not only is it very sexy to learn together, you will both benefit from it greatly in long run.

If you are in a relationship, starting a new one, or looking to get into one, learn that ultimately communication is key to building a healthy and enjoyable sex life together. Let us do away with this notion that it is somehow wrong or shameful to talk openly about sex or that you can offend each other. I find it interesting that couples can be intimate with each other, yet feel uncomfortable discussing intimacy. So, talk, learn, teach and, most importantly, have fun!

Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life Coach. A Columnist as well as radio host. Devlyn has also developed ToolsToLife.com. As a Relationship-Coach Devlyn has created the OnlineDatingKit.com which teaches Internet daters the skills they need to find their perfect matches on their own and offers a complementary e-book at no cost on “How To Choose The Right Dating Site For You.”