IS YOUR INNER CRITIC WORKING OVER-TIME?Written by Rhoberta Shaler
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At forty or so, I was making photograph albums for my three children. As I went through all photos from my parents' home and mine, I found myself in tears. Why? Because, in looking at forty years of photos of me, I could see no evidence of person they described when I looked at myself. The person in those photos was just fine just way she was. And yet, that Inner Critic had been well-informed with those repeated messages. My tears were for early years of striving to gain approval of folks whose opinions I really did not value. I tell that story because I know it is a common one. Fortunately, at age nineteen, Maxwell Maltz and I became friends through his books. Everything changed!
If your Inner Critic has way too much to say, consciously turn it off. When it begins, change channel to one that is supportive, one that encourages you to live fully, stretch and grow--all on your own terms. You can do this!
REMEMBER, WHAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO EXPANDS!
Dr. Shaler is the creator of the Living Richly™ Programs. For further articles, free ezines, upcoming teleseminars and booking information, visit www.OptimizeLifeNow.com today!
WHEN YOU SEE REDWritten by Rhoberta Shaler
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relationships to answer this question: What do I want from this exchange? If a potentially volatile volley of words, accusations, and threats are likely to erupt, leave. No, this is not "running away from a fight". This is just informed decision-making. There is one important difference, though: tell person that you are leaving and when you will return to discuss issue. This is difference between being responsible and being a "hit-and-run" offender. Take care of relationship. Do not abandon other person. Simply say, "I'm too angry now and I'm likely to say things I don't mean. I'll be back in three hours and let's discuss this then. If it is in work setting, acknowledge your desire to work out issue, and promise to get back to them within three hours to set a time to talk further. This is not easy, but it is effective!
Why three hours or more? Simple. It takes a full ninety minutes for blood to return to your centers of reason and logic and your heart beat to return to normal. It makes good sense to wait and it demonstrates that you care about yourself AND relationship.
Dr. Shaler is the creator of the Living RichlyT Programs. For further articles, free ezines, upcoming teleseminars and booking information, visit http://www.OptimizeLifeNow.com today!