You can enhance a relationship by asking for help. You open relationship to become more reciprocal. That's a choice only you can determine is appropriate. If you do not want to be asked for something, best not ask yourself! But, if you do not ask, answer is always "No!".

APPROACH

Some ways of approaching an issue are more productive than others. It's unlikely you'll get what you want by beginning with "I'm sure you'll say 'No', but..." You may have tried that one when you were a teen-ager. It didn't work well, did it?

First, be prepared. Be ready to ask clearly for what you want. Know why you want it. Be prepared with benefits to listener for giving you what you are requesting. If possible, give them a plan that will work for them...and for you. When you do work, you're more likely to get what you want.

Then, pick your moment carefully, then check. "I would like to discuss something with you. Is this a good time?" or "When would you have a few minutes free to discuss something?" If you are asking a supervisor or manager, they will likely want to know what topic is. This is fair, however, how you answer is important. It can make all difference between getting meeting or not.

Phrase your issue broadly and positively . "I'd like to discuss vacation schedule." rather than, "I need to talk to you about getting dates I want for vacation." Give overall topic, not your specific request. If pressed for specifics, again be positive, clear and brief.

JUST DO IT

Once in meeting, first, thank them for their time. Give benefits to listener for giving you what you want, then ask. Ask clearly for exactly what you want. Do not apologize for your request. You have right to ask as they have right to refuse. Whatever outcome, relationship will shift slightly no matter who you ask for what! Be prepared.

You have probably heard English proverb: 'Most things are lost for want of asking.'. There is no need to lose anything for that reason. Simply ask. You may be surprised how easy this becomes with practice. Remember, though, if you do not ask, answer is always 'No'. So ask!

That's not you, though, right? You know your priorities and insure that your focus remains clear. You know what you can and cannot do right now as well as what you will and want to do next. Yesterday I was having lunch with a speaking colleague. He said that he wondered if he was living up to his potential currently because he was unwilling to fit all that was possible into every day. Should he really be creating product in those late hours after his children have gone to bed? When he asked for my input, I told him that I try to remember that I CAN have it all, I just cannot have it all at same time. When children are young, they need to be our focus. When they grow up, focus may turn to other more personal pursuits. There is a good time for everything. You cannot squeeze a lifetime into one day. Some things are well saved for ten years from now.

Living up to your full potential is a daily opportunity. When your priorities are clear and your time and energy are focused, you cannot help but live up to your potential. You decide. That is where your power resides.