Just let them be. The more you consider it bad to feel sad, more you’ll fight it, and more power it will have over you. We all prefer what’s called “positive” emotions, but there are others. 9.Hire a certified emotional intelligence coach.

A certified EQ coach is trained to help you at meta-level, which is what you need. At times of change and transition, you need to deal with many things – relationships AND career AND money AND your emotions AND life balance AND your business AND your kids. When one thing changes in your life, it will affect everything in your life, and scope involves more than a Career Coach, or Life Balance Coach, or Relationship Coach or Small Business Coach has been trained for. The most important thing to deal with will be emotions. In order to function and move forward, you need to manage your emotions and those of those around you, who will also have been affected. This falls within wide scope of a certified EQ coach. TOOLS

The best tool you can have for handling transitions is a high EQ. Tips are tips, but a tool is something you need to get job done. Why use a kitchen knife when you could be using a power screwdriver? Resilience, an EQ Competency One of EQ competencies, resilience is particularly important. Resilience means being able to bounce back from losses, rejections, and adversities while remaining hopeful. The worse outcome of an adversity is to become bitter and cynical. Developing your EQ is a preventative measure, guarding your attitude and ability to enjoy your life in future. You will learn how to weather storms on an as-needed basis!

Building your EQ means building your ability to keep “stress” from becoming “strain.” Think of an expansion bridge. It’s built resilient (about to bounce) so when wind blows, it won’t snap. If it were rigid, “stress” might turn into “strain” and it would buckle under pressure.

See difference? You want, need, and will always have “stress” in your life, but “strain” can damage you.

WHERE TO BEGIN?

1. Take an EQ foundational course. ( http://www.susandunn.cc/courses.htm ).

2. Work with a certified EQ coach.

You must work with someone trained in field. You can’t “just” read about EQ. Taking a course is a necessary first step to acquaint you with terminology and to reframe what you already know, but then you must put these things into practice in real life. You will improve with feedback. TO PREVAIL

Last but not lease, if you’re going through a major change, prepare to be a stronger person when it’s over – IF you have developed your resilience.

“Adversity is another way to measure greatness of individuals,” said Lou Holtz, American football coach. “I never had a crisis that didn’t make me stronger.”

In light of this, you might interview a potential coach to see what major crises and changes they have mastered. The “untested” are only talking theoretically, and you’ll hear difference. This personal growth and triumph is optimal result of going through change, but we all know people who cratered under strain.

Develop your emotional intelligence and your crises can make you stronger, not weaker. Get proactive. Give emotional intelligence a try!

10. TELEPHONE TIP-OFFS - 76 telltale signs Illicit affairs depend on repeated contact; many of which take place by phone. These telltale signs of infidelity are relatively easy to find. Many men take risk of calling their lovers from home or having their lovers call them at home. Many wives (like me) discover their husband’s infidelity either directly or indirectly by telephone.

11. CAR CLUES - 40 telltale signs Your husband’s (or family) car can be a rich source of telltale signs. The glove compartment, car seats (underneath and between), tire well, underside of visor, ashtray, side pockets or compartments, under floor mats and other nooks and crannies can reveal a wealth of information.

12. SEX - 37 telltale signs Be alert for any type of changes in frequency or quality of your sex life together. Most important of all: If you suspect your husband of having an affair, take steps to protect yourself. Do not put yourself at risk for HIV/AIDS, herpes or e other sexually transmitted diseases.

13. EATING HABITS - 31 telltale signs This is an area that wives usually overlook when checking for telltale signs. But your husband’s eating habits can be influenced or affected by his lover. Without even realizing it, he may develop a preference for type of food she eats, way she likes her food prepared or kind of restaurants in which she likes to eat. These are types of telltale signs it would never occur to him to conceal.

14. SMELLS AND TASTES - 21 telltale signs Each person has his or her own unique smell or taste. You may be oblivious to it until it becomes replaced with something else. Pay close attention if your husband smells or tastes “different,” or if something in your home or car just doesn’t smell “right.” It may warrant closer investigation.

15. INVASION OF YOUR HOME - 22 telltale signs It's not uncommon for a man who's cheating to invite his lover to his home. When this happens, it’s not unheard of for lovers to leave personal items behind--sometimes deliberately, for an unsuspecting wife to find. You will usually find evidence in your bedroom or bathroom if another woman has been in your home while you were away. But telltale signs of infidelity may turn up in other areas of your home, as well.

16. GIFTS - 19 telltale signs Be especially vigilant around times of year when gifts are usually exchanged. During holidays and various other times throughout year, you may find gifts or cards hidden around your home or in car. Receipts or credit card bills for gifts may turn up shortly before or after Christmas and Valentine’s Day.

17. COMPUTER USE - 30 telltale signs It’s common these days for a cheating husband to use e-mail to communicate with his lover. Some of telltale signs in this category may also be an indication of his involvement in an online or cyber affair. Don’t take this lightly. These affairs can be as harmful to your marriage as real thing. Though they may not involve sexual contact, emotional attachment can be extremely strong, and can quickly progress from cyberspace to physical reality.

18. CELL PHONES AND PAGERS/BEEPERS - 28 telltale signs Today’s technological advances make it easier for a husband to cheat on his wife. But it’s also easier for a husband to get caught while trying to make contact or stay in touch with his lover.

19. PHYSICAL EVIDENCE - 32 telltale signs Many times there’s physical evidence just waiting to be found. Check your husband’s wallet, his pants or jacket pockets, his desk or dresser drawers, wastepaper basket, his closet shelves, floor in back of his closet, garage, his study, filing cabinets, his workshop, his toolbox or any place else you can think of. Keep your eyes open. You’ll be surprised at kinds of physical evidence of infidelity you can find.

20. HIS BEHAVIOR AROUND OTHER WOMEN - 71 telltale signs Studies show that a man is most likely to have an affair with someone he already knows—a woman he comes in contact with on a regular basis – a neighbor, a coworker, a family friend or business associate. If you’re observant, you may be able to determine identity of your husband’s lover by way he behaves in her presence, or by how she behaves around him.

21. ACCIDENTAL SLIPS-UPS OR DISCLOSURES - 57 telltale signs Sometimes you get lucky and find out what your husband has been up to by accident, or through some strange quirk of fate. An accidental slip-up on his part or on part of someone else can clue you in to what’s been happening behind your back.

Excerpts taken from "Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs" For more information visit www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com

© 2004 Ruth Houston All rights reserved.

NOTE: You’re welcome to reprint this article in your newsletter or on your website as long as you print entire article, unchanged with author’s byline, copyright and resource box containing “About Author” information and links. Please e-mail author at CheatingSigns@aol.com to let her know where and when your reprint will appear.

# # #

RUTH HOUSTON is the author of “Is He Cheating on You?-829 Telltale Signs.” For more information about the book, cheating husbands or signs of infidelity visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com To receive a FREE Infidelity Report which includes 29 Telltale Signs, send an e-mail to CheatingSigns@aol.com