I’m not talking about preparing for each individual change as it comes up. This is an inefficient and reactive way to operate. I mean preparing your SELF proactively for inevitable changes you will encounter throughout your lifetime so that you remain prepared as part of who you are. This is about emotional intelligence, or competency, and this is how you do it.

CHANGES

Just when you think everything’s settled, and way it’s going to be, along comes a change.

Some of these changes will be good – you get a promotion out-of-the-blue, or suddenly find out you’re pregnant after trying for some time, or dream house you’ve been looking for comes on market long before you expected it to or were prepared to move.

Some of these changes will be difficult – a transfer you didn’t want, getting laid off, empty nest, or losing a lover, partner or loved one.

Whether anticipated or not, whether wanted or not, things change, and how we deal with this is a sign of our emotional intelligence (EQ), or competency.

TIPS

1.Label it immediately a transition.

You are not lost in space (no longer a mother), nor at end of line (retirement), nor is it end of world (getting laid off). You are in space between one thing and another; a transition. You are not going to create future, and recreate yourself. 2.Keep constant what you can and take care of yourself.

The first thing most counselors will tell you is something like, “Eat breakfast at same time every day,” or “Take a warm bath.”

It’s comforting to recognize what in your life has NOT changed, and you always need to practice extreme self-care, but particularly at times when earth seems to be moving beneath you feet.

3.To handle emotions, lead with body.

If your body is tense, you will feel tense. Work from direction of your body – exercise, or get massages.

There is something healing in human touch that exercise can’t bring you. It is widely reported in literature how important massages can be in times of strain.

4.Use your social support network.

I’m sure you’ve helped others; now it’s their time to help you. We all go through difficult times, it’s just your time now. Those friends are one of constants in your life when other things have changed. Get with people who can sing your song when you’ve forgotten it.

5.If your change brings you time, enjoy it.

Try a new hobby or get in touch with an old one. How long since you last did needlework? Could you take trip you’ve been wanting to take? Use this time to improve yourself – study art, take a computer course, read great literature.

6.Don’t worry.

Worry does no good. When you worry, you stress yourself physiologically, when you are already under stress to begin with. 7.Grieve.

Every woman’s personal library should contain a reference book on how to recognize warning signs of infidelity. "Is He Cheating On You? - 829 Telltale Signs" is a comprehensive guide which lists practically every known cheating sign. The 800+ signs of infidelity in this book are divided into 21 categories so a woman can easily locate signs that apply to her mate. What’s unique about warning signs listed here is that once a woman knows what to look for, any of these signs can be easily found using only her eyes and ears, her personal knowledge of her husband, and information provided in book. No special skills or equipment are required.

Each of 21 categories is explained below along with number of telltale signs listed under that category. While some women make it a point to check each of 21 categories, others will only check particular categories that seem to apply to their marriage or their mate. To insure that no one overlooks an important telltale sign, some of signs (about a dozen) are listed under more than one category.

For example: “He always calls a certain female to share special events in his life.” This sign is listed under Telephone Tip-Offs and again under His Behavior Around Other Women.

“He starts showering you with gifts or buying you flowers for no special reason” This sign is listed under How He Relates to You and also under Gifts.

“You find deposit slips in his possession for someone else’s bank account.” This sign is listed under Financial Affairs as well as under Physical Evidence.

Despite title, "Is He Cheating On You? - 829 Telltale Signs". actually contains 950 telltale signs. Additional signs were added before final version of this infidelity book was printed. Readers continue to send in telltale signs they have personally discovered which did not appear in book.

Continue reading for details on 21 major categories of telltale signs. When you finish, be sure to visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com for more information on cheating husbands and signs of infidelity. Remember you can’t afford to be last one to know.

1. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE - 76 telltale signs A man having an affair (or even thinking about having one) will want to make himself more attractive. He will begin to enhance his appearance in some way. Be alert for changes in his wardrobe, his grooming, his body, and his personal hygiene. These are usually most visible signs of infidelity. If he embarks on a drastic self-induced makeover, it’s probably not for you. More than likely he’s trying to attract or impress someone else.

2. HOW HE RELATES TO YOU - 70 telltale signs The way your husband relates to you can provide many telltale signs. His involvement with another woman will cause him to treat you differently -- even on a subconscious level. This is one of those areas where a wife can pick up signs of infidelity that a private investigator might otherwise overlook.

3. CONVERSATIONAL CLUES - 70 telltale signs What your husband chooses or refuses to talk about can alert you to his involvement in an extramarital affair. He may mention new people, places and things, while people, places and things he normally talks about are no longer a part of his conversation. Even his tone of voice can be an important telltale sign.

4. WORK HABITS - 39 telltale signs Work is commonly used as an excuse to account for large blocks of time away from home. Men often use their jobs as a cover for their extramarital affairs. Your husband’s work habits will undoubtedly change as his affair unfolds. Be on lookout work-related telltale signs.

5. DAY-TO-DAY BEHAVIOR - 92 telltale signs We are all creatures of habit. We all have a routine that we usually follow each day. A man who is cheating will display changes of some kind in his normal patterns of behavior. Pay close attention to any deviations in your husband’s daily routine. These deviations are telltale signs.

6. FINANCIAL AFFAIRS - 52 telltale signs Affairs cost money. If your husband has a lover, he’ll want to wine her, dine her, entertain her and buy her occasional gifts. No matter how carefully he tries to cover his tracks, sooner or later this will be reflected in family finances. Stay alert for financial signs of infidelity.

7. TRAVEL - 27 telltale signs Your husband may not always be traveling for legitimate reasons. Even if he is, he may decide to combine business with a little pleasure. Travel affords a cheating unfaithful husband a unique opportunity to cheat away from prying eyes.

8. PERSONALITY OR BEHAVIORAL CHANGES - 36 telltale signs Be alert for changes in your husband’s attitude, personality or behavior. Whether they are drastic or subtle, changes of this type are often an indication of infidelity.