In either of these cases it is best to slowly lead person back to a polite discussion. You can do this by asking highly specific questions that force person to slow down and think before replying.

If you honestly did not do anything to encourage rudeness you are clearly dealing with someone who habitually talks in this way.

Unless you can change person you just have to accept him as he is.

3 What can you do?

Ultimately you have a choice - avoid dealing with vulgar people where possible or join them! Only joking!

Seriously though if you cannot avoid them you need to remember how to take charge of conversations. Plus you need to ensure you remain strong and unaffected by their manner.

In meantime you can achieve quite a lot by distinguishing between person and way they deliver their message to you.

Look beyond their words to real message they are trying to convey.

We all have a bad day now and again maybe you just bumped into them while they were stuck at a low point.

While you may need to be effective around such people keep your focus on your real goal. Deal effectively with individual and maintain your own emotional state regardless of how upset other person is.

Pay attention to your emotional state when dealing with negative people, manipulative people and others who will drain your energy. With these people rely more on weakest element of rapport - words. And manage your body language without following their lead.

4 Not Speaking Their Language

We all have one primary sense whether it be visual, auditory or feelings based that dominates our perception of world.

You need to get good at spotting which modality other people use and match their world to get rapport quickly and easily.

If someone is in a visual mode their words will be dominated by words that express what they see. For example car is red with a white soft top and a huge back seat.

Whereas auditory person describes car in a different way: it sounds like a lion roaring when you start engine and CD player fills car with deep, rich sounds that dance around your ears.

Finally person most attuned to their feelings notices smooth soft sensation of leather seats and warm firm feeling when they hold steering wheel.

If you use wrong modality for person you are talking to it makes it harder for him to understand you. You have to work harder to get rapport.

And when you speak to several people at once make sure you use visual, auditory and feeling words to make sure you appeal to everyone.

Make a point of paying attention to dominant modality your friends and family use. And you may have a breakthrough when you finally discover why you are not getting deep rapport with some of them while more easily getting along with other people.