Mr. Job Seeker: “Thank you. I’m excited at prospect of working for Rutherford Enterprises, however; my salary needs at $55,000 level. As you know, accepting this position will require that I relocate to Seattle area. Accepting anything less than $55,000 would simply be far too costly given moving expenses.”

Ms. Employer. “Hmmm, I can understand your position; but I simply can’t offer you more than $45,000 per year. Our company policy is to bring all new hires at this management level in for $45,000 per year. We are looking at raising salaries on a cost of living adjustment sometime next year….”

Mr. Job Seeker. “I’m afraid that simply would not work, as I would need to make move this year in order to begin by your requested hire date.”

Ms. Employer. “I really hate to lose you. I believe we need someone with your experience on our team. Perhaps we could work out something else. As I said, I can’t start you out any higher than $45,000 per year, but I could possibly offer you a $3,000 sign on bonus. That would help to defray your moving costs. Would that be acceptable?”

Now, obviously all conversations are not going to go exactly as one in example did. In some cases, employer will remain adamant that they simply can’t pay any more and they won’t offer any other type of compensatory benefit on their own either. In this situation job seeker will need to come up with a creative idea and nudge employer. Just keep in mind that not all of money you bring home is tied up in your paycheck. Sometimes you can do as well as or better than a higher salary by negotiating for sign on bonuses, moving expenses, company stock options, better retirement benefits, extra time off, etc.

Employers will rarely offer you everything you need and want with first job offer. It’s up to you to define parameters of negotiation and determine whether or not you will simply accept offer on table or sell employer on your unique skills and experience and thereby obtain best deal possible.

You have a family counting on you; so now what? For starters, keep plugging along. Keep on keeping on. You know a job isn’t going to fall from sky, so you need to just accept that your job right now is finding a job. You are working and you’re working harder than most at this task.

More importantly you need to keep a positive outlook. Yes that’s easier said than done. But if you can’t control circumstances you can control your attitude toward it. You can either look at downsizing as an opportunity to do something different or to learn something new; or you can view it by accepting that you’ve been dealt a bad hand of cards and now all you can do is play it out. Do not view yourself as a victim. No good will come from that attitude.

You wouldn’t have advanced nor had longevity that you did in your former career had it not been for your wherewithal and internal drive. You need to find that strength again. If you’re still having a pity party, it’s time to get over it. If you’ve sent out that many resumes and exhausted what you believe to be all your leads and you’re still bitter and feeling sorry for yourself, it’s time to reevaluate. If you haven’t already accepted a job that you’re overqualified for and underpaid, then it’s time you did.

Pride can be our biggest downfall. Working a family business that you never wanted to, or working nights at concession stand may not be what you envisioned for yourself. View it as temporary. View it as a paycheck. View it as an opportunity to network with people you would have never had opportunity to cross paths. Maybe your next customer could be a business owner that you’ve been attempting to get an interview with.

As for people who give you clichés – know that they mean well. People who have not been a mile in your shoes don’t understand it. They don’t know what to say. Remember downsizing sometimes sucks, but it may be forcing you into a new opportunity that you really love. Make best of it.