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Wow, we thought days later when there'd been no further skirmishes…if this thing works so well for arguing, what about some of
other issues that we seemed to be always struggling with. Wasting electricity, for example. It seemed like kids were always leaving lights on when they left a room. Or they'd leave TV on when they went to bed. Or they'd take half hour showers. Why not make another wheel with consequences related to wasting electricity?
Well, eventually and inevitably, we ended up making consequences to cover seven different issues, or themes. Excessive Arguing was joined by A Job Poorly Done, Leaving Lights On, Stretching Truth, Taking Without Asking, Talking Back, and Not Putting Things Back.
And then, because we felt that extra good behavior should be recognized, we added another theme called Just Desserts, consisting of rewards.
We called it The Better Behavior Wheel.
It has worked beyond our wildest expectations.
In past we'd often let behavior slide.
"David…it's 8:30. Get dishes done."
"I know." From downstairs where he's watching TV.
"David. It's 9:00. Get these dishes done right now!"
"I know."
Until we'd get angry. And then consequences would end up being out of proportion to infraction. And blood pressure would rise, and anger would reign.
"DAVID…GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE AND GET THOSE DISHES DONE, AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT GOING CAMPING THIS WEEKEND!!!"
But with wheel…
"David…it's 8:15…you haven't started dishes yet. I'm afraid we'll have to spin wheel."
"But, Mom…"
"I'm sorry, Dear. It's really not up to me. Those are rules we all agreed on. Gee, I hope you don't land on a really bad consequence."
The amazing thing is…we're no longer bad guys. We can actually root for kids as they drag themselves up to wheel. It's no longer an us against them issue. It's wheel that they have to answer to.
But greatest thing of all…we hardly ever have to use wheel. It hangs on kitchen wall, acting as a watchdog and reminder. It's mere presence has worked miracles.
We want one too
After sharing our experience with our friends, and demonstrating wheel to them, we have received widespread encouragement to make them on a commercial basis. Ultimately we thought, why not? It's a great product. We know it works. If it can help others way it has helped us, it almost seemed a shame not to make them.
We even made a Virtual Wheel - a download version that can be played on computer. (This is my husband's favorite because he spent so many sleepless nights working on it.)
It's been four years since we had to send them to their rooms, but David and Laura get along great these days. They've both turned into wonderful teens, and we'd like to think that Wheel shares a huge portion of credit for that.
A mother of 4 kids from Eugene, Oregon, Julie Butler now lives in central British Columbia where she markets the Better Behavior Wheel to grateful parents. Her website is http://www.better-behavior.com
