HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: Ask yourself some questionsWritten by Linda LaPointe
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you're able to give -- for example, will you give more time or money? Get emotional support you received from your parents in past in other ways. Talk with friends who are in similar situations. Join a caregiver support group. If you're sharing caregiving tasks with siblings, keep lines of communication open. Send each other progress reports. Finally, find ways to have more fun with an aging or disabled adult for whom you feel responsible or love. Try to spend YOUR time doing things that will be most appreciated. Hire out house maintenance tasks, like lawn care and snow removal. Use a companion service for light housekeeping, meal preparation, grocery shopping and errands. Spend your time doing things WITH rather than FOR older adult. Professional organizations can help with mundane tasks so you can spend more quality time looking through photo albums, writing letters to out of town family, taking grandkids to park, or sharing a cup of tea. Begin your journey of caregiving by defining preferences, plans and roles prior to being confronted and swept up by crises.Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters Coach and is author of several publications which help families, such as In My Shoes: An Aging Family, an experiential game. See them and free articles and resources at www.SOSpueblo.com
Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters Coach and is author of several publications which help families, such as In My Shoes: An Aging Family, an experiential game. See them and free articles and resources at www.SOSpueblo.
| | HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: Is it Time for That Talk?Written by Linda LaPointe
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Like a snowball rolling down a hill, Annie’s involvement, her parents needs and resultant problems grew bigger and bigger over time. We never know exact course of aging, so it is impossible to be sufficiently prepared for all unforeseen events, but some targeted pre-planning can avoid dealing with one crisis after another. Don’t wait for a crisis to talk to your parents about their future. It may become too late before you know it. As soon as Annie’s parents needed laundry room moved upstairs it was time to talk, as situation usually doesn't get better. Aging is a process of loss & degeneration. It may be difficult to bring up such private matters, but situation won't go away. Often it gets worse if we wait and our loved one’s cognition deteriorates as it did with Annie’s parents, who really thought that they were independent as she continued to reassure them that they would stay in their home. We plan more for our young/old lives than we do for our old/old years. We may look forward to retirement and we specify an age at which that will begin, so we are clearer about target and our desires. Old/old age is difficult to imagine and specific age for which to prepare is slippery as it is more health than age related. Most people announce their desires for this age by simply saying, 1. they don’t want to go to a nursing home, 2. they don’t want to be a burden, and 3. they don’t want to be in pain. But that’s too vague and not enough direction for future caregivers. Have that talk with your loved ones first chance you get. Create a chance to talk about old/old age. Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters Coach who was a long term care administrator. She is author of several products to help families, including educational board game, In My Shoes: An Aging Family. See them and get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com
Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters Coach who was a long term care administrator. She is the author of several products to help families, including the educational board game, In My Shoes: An Aging Family. See them and get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com
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