But, back to my suit. Between long hours at work and longer lines at mall, I've treated myself too many times lately. I mean, I deserved to ride home with a diet coke and some Zaps CrawTaters. The good news is that I looked, and there's not a warning on Zaps bag anywhere--not even a hint that consuming large quantities would make it hard to button my jeans. Seriously, I think they put something addictive in there! I'm trying to get a court order to look through their records. They should pay, don't you think? ~smile~ Pass CrawTaters...I need a fix.

Hugs, Shellie

(3) Tweak Your Website For The New Year

As a serious internet marketer you realize that you can't expect visitors to your website to be subjected to same content they saw in 2002. Therefore it is necessary for you to review all your webpages and find ways to change, and hopefully improve, 'look' and 'feel' of your website. I would like to give you some pointers here, but I, personally, don't know how a website is supposed to 'feel'.

It may also be a good idea to re-submit your website to major search engines. Before you do this you will, of course, want to optimize your website so that search engines will like it. This may involve incorporating things you do not, and WILL NOT, ever understand like meta tags, doorway pages, and various HTML tags into your website. This may also involve putting actual content on your website instead of just banners and pictures of you and your pets. And now before I get nasty emails from all you pet lovers out there, we'll move on to next item on our checklist, which is:

(4) Find New Programs To Join

The fact that you made NO money online last year should not deter you from looking for more programs to join this year. The beginning of year is a great time to do this because there are always lots of new programs in 'Prelaunch' around this time. When a website is in prelaunch it basically means that owners of site are out of money and are waiting for your money to finish developing website or to finish paying for their son's college tuition. It does not mean that there will ever be a 'Launch'. But never hearing from a website again is a small price to pay for getting in early.

You'll also want to be on lookout for any new programs that include a 'forced matrix'. No one really knows what that term means, and you may be able to get a few confused newbies to sign-up under you. And on that note we head fearlessly into our final item on checklist which is:

(5) Remember To Have Fun

Just because you can't seem to find a good way to make money online, and your website hosting service has raised their prices, and your ISP has raised their prices, and only affiliate program you ever made money with went belly up, and Ebay canceled your membership, doesn't mean you can't have fun online this year. There are plenty of websites and ezines on World Wide Web that can provide you with hours of fun and enjoyment. And as soon as I find out where they are I'll let you know about them. For now though, I've gotta go. I've got a few belated e-cards to send out...

***************************************************** Want More Tim Ward? Subscribe to his monthly ezine, The Online Jester's Humor Ezine. Each issue contains a fresh column written by Jester himself, as well as lots of other Internet humor. Visit: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/onlinejester *****************************************************