Front Porch Chat

Written by Shellie Rushing Tomlinson

Hello porchers! I've been watching for y'all. Have a seat, and let's chat. So, tell me, are you working on those New Years' resolutions? Uh-huh, call me Miss Cleo, but I bet losing weight topsrepparttar list, right? My powers also tell me you're gonna need some cash, that fat-free food's expensive. But don't worry, I'm here to help.~smile~

Have you heard? Folks are suing McDonald's for making them fat! Yep,repparttar 118281 same folks who pay good money to super-size have become super-sized and--get this--they're surprised and angry. Although, it hasn't gone to trial, I'm hearing thatrepparttar 118282 plaintiffs have a good chance at winning and if they set a precedent, I think I have a good case against Zaps Potato Chips. For a small fee, you can join my lawsuit. Surely, you know about Zaps CrawTaters, Jalapeno Chips and Dill Pickle Chips--if not, run torepparttar 118283 store and load up. You can thank me later.

Getting Back To E-Business

Written by Tim Ward

It's that time of year again, folks. The calm afterrepparttar holiday storm. All your relatives have finally gone home. You've settled back in at work after far too few days off. The kids are back in school. The neighbors have finally taken down those 1,253,890 Christmas lights that kept causing brownouts inrepparttar 118280 neighborhood all December. And, most importantly, you finally have time to get back onrepparttar 118281 internet.

Of course, after a long strenuous holiday season, it may not be possible to just jump right back into your previous internet routine. You may need a little assistance from a Trained Internet Professional. Someone who knowsrepparttar 118282 'ropes', and can get you back inrepparttar 118283 cyberspace 'swing of things' in no time. Unfortunately, unless you're willing to pay $24.95 and download several e-books, it looks likerepparttar 118284 only help you're going to get will be inrepparttar 118285 form of:

The Online Jester's Getting Back To E-Business Checklist 2003

(1) Get That Email Caught Up

First and foremost, you'll want to get caught up on your unread email. Resistrepparttar 118286 urge to just delete allrepparttar 118287 thousands of emails in your inbox. After all there may actually be a few important emails hiding in there amongstrepparttar 118288 spam andrepparttar 118289 hundreds of emails from every website you've ever visited wishing you 'happy holidays' in a desperate attempt to get you to visit their website again.

For instance, you may have received an email or two from old friends who care about you so much that instead of doing something insincere like coming to visit you, or calling you onrepparttar 118290 telephone, they, beingrepparttar 118291 real friends that they are, have sent you a free e-card that takes 3 minutes to load and, quite possibly, contains a virus. These arerepparttar 118292 types of emails you want to be sure you don't delete.

You'll also want to be sure and save any emails that have unreadable subject lines, or no subject line at all, as these emails are usually from your mother.

I recommend getting your email caught up ASAP, even if it means skipping a few meals, because until allrepparttar 118293 email is read you cannot move on torepparttar 118294 second point on our checklist, which is:

(2) Checking All Your Statistics

Since it's a new year, and you've been away from cyberspace for awhile, you'll want to find out where you stand financially online. This means checking your statistic pages and account balances for allrepparttar 118295 affiliate and paid-to programs you have ever joined. This means remembering a LOT of passwords. Unless you're like me and userepparttar 118296 same password for everything. Then all you'll have to remember are all your different login and user IDs. These are even harder to recall than passwords, because, whereas your password is usually something sensible like your mother's maiden name backwards-in German or your age, weight, and favorite vegetable combined, User IDs have a tendency to get out of hand. One problem is thatrepparttar 118297 first three IDs or logins you choose will already be taken. This never fails. Even if you arerepparttar 118298 first person to ever sign up atrepparttar 118299 website, your first 3 (or more) choices will be 'already in use'. So now you have to rack your brain for more. So usually you come up with something weird like 'crzyychick02', or 'stud78man4', or in an extreme case-'mike'. All of which, needless to say, you will lose countless brain cells trying to remember. So while you still haverepparttar 118300 amount of cerebral activity left that is needed to read, we will move on to our third point on our checklist, which is:

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