Through our discussions that night, we were able to tap into what was it about my son that made him such a great guy to hang out with over years. It was his ability to genuinely care about others and his intuitive compassion for everyone that made him more than just popular, but a real friend to all. He's kind of guy who always sticks up for smaller kids and looks after lost children. Once I reminded him of who he used to be, he realized how much of his focus had turned inwards towards himself instead of outwards towards those whom he cared about. He said that he'd gotten so wrapped up in his new cool friends and in his public image at school that he hadn't even understood what his old friends were talking about when they said he was cold and uncaring now. Turning his attention inwards had caused him to alienate many of his closest friends and family. Now he suddenly felt very much alone in world. Luckily, it hadn't been happening for very long before I'd blown up at him and made him look at it. He was able to quickly readjust back into caring person he used to be and was able to feel loved and supported by his friends and family again. He passionately dove back into his friendships.

He learned that you can treat your brother like garbage and he's always your brother and you will have to see each other at family gatherings whether you ever learn to be close or not. Friends on other hand, can and will walk out of your life if you are cold and uncaring towards them. Family will eventually just shrug their shoulders and excuse your self-absorbed behavior as just way you are, friends won't. I find it's friendships that we love and nurture like family that last forever as if they were family. And, it's family members that we love and nurture like friends that we form strongest and closest bonds with.

They say that we learn our social skills from our siblings, but I'm not so sure about that anymore. My stepmother wasn't a very nurturing type and when we were younger my sister and I were not very close. So through my girlfriends, I got that female connection that I just couldn't get from my family. My girlfriends became my surrogate family and taught me a lot about how to really be there for someone else. My sister and I have only recently become friends in last few years. We are forming a different kind of bond then what we had when we were children. It's much better now. I would never treat my friends way I used to treat my sister!

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

Don't buy a gift that you like or want and give it to someone else. This trick will not work on any woman with half a brain! Many years ago I had a committed relationship with a boyfriend that never, and I mean never, bought me a gift. One year he excitedly told me he had bought tickets to a concert for my birthday! I was surprised and pleased until he announced that he bought tickets to a Pink Floyd concert. I listened to Madonna and Michael Jackson at time not classic rock. Needless to say, out of politeness I pretended to be happy and excited and went to concert and had a good time. Giving a gift to someone that is something you like or want is selfish and sure to cause serious repercussions in your relationship. Don't do it.

If in doubt give a gift certificate. Many on-line stores offer gift certificates that are convenient and easy to redeem. It may seem like a gift certificate is easy way out but it isn't. If you purchase a gift certificate from a store that offers gifts interesting to woman in your life then you are doing her a huge favor. Not only will she get a great gift that interests her but she can choose something that she will actually use and enjoy!

Make your gift giving successful by taking time to learn about women in your life and to appreciate them for their unique gifts. Women love to receive gifts and will reciprocate in kind. Don't wait for a birthday or other special occasion. Give gifts frequently and unexpectedly and you will be surprised by response you receive!