Friends Are A Gift You Give YourselfWritten by Skye Thomas
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk about a month ago. He had gotten pretty full of himself and acted like he was too cool for rest of family. Pretty typical teenager behavior, but I didn't like it. I had gotten to end of my patience with him and laid into him about how lousy it felt to be treated that way. We ended up in a huge fight. He argued that he wasn't acting any different than normal and that I was just choosing to see things negatively. So, I laid out numerous examples of his selfish "me me me" behaviors without stopping to take a second breath. He hates it when I go off like that, but once he was ready to really talk, I came down off of my soapbox. He was close to tears. Apparently, I'd hit a nerve. He confessed that his closest friends at school had been trying to tell him same thing recently and he wasn't hearing them. Now he suddenly knew what it was they had been trying to say. He felt awful and began to make immediate changes in his behaviors towards others. He really hated idea that he was hurting anyone's feelings by being cold and uncaring.We talked a lot that night about how family sort of has to put up with each other. Family is always there for you. Family can embarrass you and you still have to acknowledge them in public. Family can and will scream at you until you finally get point that you're being a jerk. You really don't have much choice over who your family is. Friends, on other hand, are a gift that you give yourself. Friends don't have to put up with your attitudes if they don't want to. Friends can leave you hanging if you're not very nice towards them. Friends aren't friends for very long if you're embarrassing them in public. Friends usually won't scream at you to get their point across. You handpick your friends to be something different and special. They aren't quite same as family. In order to have friends, you have to be a friend. Do you listen to them? Do you care for them? Do you encourage them? You have to give a lot of yourself to be a good friend to someone. But in end, you are one who benefits most. It's not about becoming some kind of martyr without any personal needs or thoughts towards your own well-being. It's more about nurturing a cherished relationship. That way, you have a dear friend to hang out with when your family is driving you bonkers. You have someone to laugh and play with. You have someone safe to share your hopes and dreams with. You have someone to talk to who isn't going to blab to rest of family that you think your mom is an overbearing control freak or that your stepfather isn't turning out to be your idea of what a dad could be.
| | Choosing The Right GiftWritten by Bonnie Jo Davis
Although there are many variables to choosing right gift for woman in your life some rules always apply. Following are some basic tips to help you through murky waters of choosing a gift.Pay attention. Take a good look at home decor of woman who will receive your gift. Does she decorate with angels, candles, family pictures, posters or art. The items a woman chooses for her home will give many clues as to what she would enjoy receiving. Ask questions. It never hurts to ask a woman what she enjoys receiving as a gift. Ask her to describe her most favorite gift. Ask her to tell you what she enjoys giving as a gift. This often will be thing that she enjoys receiving as well. Encourage an open dialogue about gift giving and listen to clues she is giving you. Don't take easy way out. Don't just send a dozen flowers or a box of chocolates and expect an overwhelming response. Women love to receive gifts that are meaningful and matched to their interest. If you do send flowers (and sometimes you should) add on a special teddy bear, picture frame or balloons to make gift more personal. Avoid candy or fitness related items. Don't give candy unless it comes with another gift such as flowers or as part of a gift basket. That way woman can give away candy and still enjoy gifts that came with it. Too many of us are watching our weight and avoiding fatty and sugary foods. Fitness equipment gifts may be considered an insult as though you are criticizing woman's weight. Don't think you're being helpful by giving such a gift - it will backfire on you!
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