That's assuming you're good. And compatible in bed.

Which leads to another kind of disaster. What if you don't click in bed? What if you chicken out as soon as they get naked? What if you end up laying there saying 'what hell did we just do?' What if you can't finish? What if you can't even get started? These are things that start to mess with confidence and self-esteem. And make for an awkward game of Scrabble next time you two are hanging out alone. Assuming that you're even able to hang out alone after that point.

Then there are resentment issues. Eventually, someone will start to feel like other person's libido band-aid. Because sex without all lovey-dovey relationship-type stuff leaves you a lot of time to think about what you just did, especially when your lover just jumped up to play a video game or to call guy she's really interested in.

It's rare to find someone mature enough to have continuous sex with someone and not develop feelings for them. It's even more rare to find someone who can deal with those feelings if and when they show up. In end, you've got awkwardness, jealousy, resentment, and all other things that can stop a relationship in its tracks. And guess what, Chachi, a friendship is a relationship. And it sucks worse than relationship that got you into this mess, because you can end up losing a lover AND a friend.

So in trying to avoid Melrose Place drama, you backpedal your way into 90210. You're stuck. You're alone. And booty train's done left station without you.

In end, you ain't boinkin' like a rabbit, and you ain't no friend o' mine.

But sometimes, you look over at that other person and realize that you're having sex with someone you like to hang out with. Who likes all same stuff you do. Who knows all your secrets and still wants to hang out with you. Sometimes, they realize it too. Then things work out.

Except in Appalachians. Dude, she's your sister. That's just nasty.

That's rant.

Copyright 2001 by Kwame DeRoche' ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. SUBSCRIBE FREE! Just e-mail kwamrants-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kwamrants

But now what? You can’t exactly start listing all things you may have done wrong, hoping to hit right one. Because you may end up listing something that he or she doesn’t know about. How much would that suck? She’s pissed off because you forgot your 3-month anniversary, but you apologize for scratching her car. He didn’t want chicken for dinner again, and you blurt out that you’re boinking his best friend. From here on out, this workout is one we like to call back-pedal. It mainly works brain and tongue. And rest assured, you’ll really work up a sweat with this one. Depending on what you blurt out (and your back-pedal technique), you may actually get to work your upper body as you pack and move your bags.

Another approach is to flatly apologize for whatever you did, even if you have no clue as to what your offense was. If other party is easily dazed or confused, this may work in conjunction with a quick change in subject, or ‘jazz hands.’ It works particularly well if you throw in something other party really likes. An example?

‘Well, whatever I did, I’m sorry. Want to get a sundae at Dairy Queen?’

‘I didn’t mean it. Want some Prada shoes?’ (Then ‘jazz hands’)

This is a nice, quick, low-impact workout. However, if your partner is quick-witted, you may still have to resort to back-pedal. If they’re pros, they’ll get shoes or sundae from you, never verbally accept your apology, and pick up where you left off as soon as you get home.

Just a couple of examples for you. I’m sure you’ve got your own workouts, too, but I’ll still argue that hot monkey lovin’ is way to go.

Oh yeah. One last thing. If at any point during your relationship, you ‘feel burn,’ you might want to visit a clinic.

Soon.

That’s rant.

Copyright 2001 by Kwame DeRoche' SUBSCRIBE FREE! Just e-mail kwamrants-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kwamrants

Check out Kwam's other columns at Zromance.com (‘East Meets West’), YouMarriedHim.com (‘A Man's View’), and GetRomantic.com !