Yeah, that old song. You start workin' your mojo on your friends. And try to stay friends. And, it usually ends in disaster.

FWB finds its origins in some breakup many years ago. The guy, sick of all her crap yet still lusting for her body, voiced a proposal. An agreement, if you will. Sex without relationship complications. Totally need-based, not emotion based like what those other suckers are doing. Just for a little while. It's perfect plan. Kinda like a severance package for his package, until it finds 'new employment.'

The mistake didn't lie in idea. Because people come up with stupid ideas every day. And trying to have sex with your ex isn't exactly original. The mistake, my friends, is that she agreed to it. So opened a new loophole for commitment-phobes everywhere. Sex with no strings. The multiple-night-stand.

The 'friends with benefits.'

In later years, FWB made way for other dating loophole innovations like Revenge Sex and Booty Call. But I digress.

So there you are, still complaining about not being able to find someone special, but now with a big grin on your face. Why? You gettin' sum.

In order for FWB plan to work, there must be rules in place. You must both be single. You're probably not getting any from anyone else, otherwise you wouldn’t be looking for FWB. You can't get emotionally attached, jealous, needy, or any of that crap. You probably try to keep it a secret, too. And, most of all, you can’t let it interfere with your (our your friend's) dating life. You know what? With all those rules, it starts to sound an awfully lot like a…uhm…what's it called? A relationship. Or worse, a JOB.

Anyway, in theory, it's like finding a gold mine. Pack up wagon, Ma, you're a free sex 49er. You can't believe that you're only one who thought of this. No anniversaries to remember, no hearts and flowers, no explaining where you were Friday night, you're in heaven. But like great gold rush, you never know when it's all gonna run out.

They say: ‘Nothing.’

You say: ‘Are you sure?’

They say: ‘It’s nothing.’

You say: ‘It’s obviously something. You look upset.’

They say: ‘You’re an (expletive).’

You say: ‘Huh?’

And so it begins. She calls him names. He brings up something from 3 weeks ago. The ex boyfriend comes up. He says something he really doesn’t mean. You can end up arguing about this for another half hour, just to find out that she had a crappy commute this morning, or that he doesn’t think you spend enough time together. In end, you’re drained, exhausted, and can’t believe you just used up all that energy. Your heart is racing. That vein in your forehead is throbbing. You want some water. You feel like you just ran a marathon.

You just had a relationship workout.

As much as your delts, biceps or quads, you’ve gotta exercise your relationship every once in a while. Give it a little stretch. Unfortunately, most people overlook easiest way to put energy into their relationship and feel exhausted at end – rolling around on floor, making sweet monkey love to one another. No, they seem to prefer often-pointless yelling matches about whose turn it is to wash dishes, or why socks are in middle of living room floor. And in an ironic twist, it’s most likely to happen when one or both of you is at your most tired.

A tried-and-true relationship workout is getting caught in a lie. Because we all know, most people won’t just admit that they lied. They’ll talk in circles. They’ll make up excuses. Or worse, they’ll make up MORE lies. If you’re dealing with a professional, this can go on for days. For liar, this works mouth muscles, and agility, because they have to do a lot of fancy footwork. For party being lied to, workout is focused on belly and jaw, where they’re keeping their mouth shut and squeezing their abdominals to keep from laughing at your outrageous story.