While you may need to be effective around such people keep your focus on your real goal. Deal effectively with individual and maintain your own emotional state regardless of how upset other person is.

Pay attention to your emotional state when dealing with negative people, manipulative people and others who will drain your energy. With these people rely more on weakest element of rapport - words. And manage your body language without following their lead.

4 Not Speaking Their Language

We all have one primary sense whether it be visual, auditory or feelings based that dominates our perception of world.

You need to get good at spotting which modality other people use and match their world to get rapport quickly and easily.

If someone is in a visual mode their words will be dominated by words that express what they see. For example car is red with a white soft top and a huge back seat.

Whereas auditory person describes car in a different way: it sounds like a lion roaring when you start engine and CD player fills car with deep, rich sounds that dance around your ears.

Finally person most attuned to their feelings notices smooth soft sensation of leather seats and warm firm feeling when they hold steering wheel.

If you use wrong modality for person you are talking to it makes it harder for him to understand you. You have to work harder to get rapport.

And when you speak to several people at once make sure you use visual, auditory and feeling words to make sure you appeal to everyone.

Make a point of paying attention to dominant modality your friends and family use. And you may have a breakthrough when you finally discover why you are not getting deep rapport with some of them while more easily getting along with other people.

3 Ask yourself:

-- how could you have handled situation better? -- what could you have done differently? -- what is solution to problem?

Your goal is to be emotionally detached yet concerned with finding best solution in same way you help a friend with a problem.

4 Imagine a trusted friend is in helicopter observing:

-- what advice would your friend give you? -- what does your friend notice that you missed?

Your own private helicopter can be used to identify patterns of communication you have that land you in hot water as well as new ways of dealing with problems.

Have fun in sky!