Recently, I was involved in a workshop on Life Planning. When leader asked question 'What is stopping you from having life you want', I was shocked when I realized my uncensored answer was 'what if it's wrong path?'. This is more of that 'forever' thinking. There truly is no such thing as 'wrong' path. My logical mind knows this: there are no mistakes, there is only experience.

And yet, I was surprised that this fear had resurfaced. Once we have a major realization, we often think that it's behind us, that it won't come up again. Life lessons, however, tend to come at us 'onion-fashion'. We peel off one layer, work with that a bit, and then one day (sometimes years later) we find next layer.

So how am I dealing with this Fear of Forever? I've come up with a phrase that I find helpful, and I have a huge sign on my desktop: 'Forever is for as long as it feels right'. It may seem silly, but it lets me take a deep breath and put whole 'forever' thing in perspective. And without doing that, there are some wonderful big steps (like getting married) that I might never have taken.

It is not less of a commitment to thing that I am choosing. In fact, I think it helps me stay focused in moment and living in 'now' rather than in past or future. In reality, all we have is now. No one can know what future can bring. That's part of adventure of life. All I know for sure is that I'm not going to let fear of forever stop me from delighting in joy of present!

“Pretty discriminating tongue,” I’d tell my son. “Imagine being able to select out those bits of carrot without fingers!”

“I hate carrots too,” he would reply.

We can hear Jake making his way through underbrush, and hear breathing. Then my friend starts raising his voice, calling, and Jakes starts his braying, to answer. When three meet – my friend, Jake, and Spot, Jake gets his head and back rubbed, and lots and lots of marvelous attention. And there sits Spot, even willing to eat a carrot in order to be included.

Take home points for you? ·Paired-conditioning is powerful ·If you’re eating a “carrot” make sure what you’re doing it for is worth it ·You’re a person, ask for what you want, don’t accept substitute ·Remain mindful, lest "carrot" become only reward, and something you don't want, you just don't want someone else to have it!

The Golden Handcuffs, of course – when you’re working for money, but rest of it just isn’t worth it.

Or when you’re competing for a girl, a job, a promotion, a house … and get so lost in competition, you aren’t mindful of whether “catch” is what you really want. Don’t end up working for your ego, not your heart.

Be mindful!