Fear of ForeverWritten by Louise Morganti Kaelin
Have you ever found yourself with a goal in your line of vision yet unable to cross last ten yards to finish line? There doesn't appear to be anybody or anything in way to stop you, and yet you just can't seem to take final leap and get where you want to be. I've often wondered about this phenomenon and there are probably as many reasons for this as there are people. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of disappointment, actually, a whole bunch of fears. And when goal is in sight, you can be pretty sure it's a fear of SOMETHING that stops you from taking those last few steps. A fear that has come into play several times in my life, surprisingly enough, is fear of Forever! That is a word that has frightened me more often than I care to admit. There is something so final about forever that it scares living daylights out of me. What if I make a wrong choice? What if I continue to grow and change, and I don't like what I've chosen today? What if I go this way and miss something incredibly wonderful over that way? This seems such a silly thing to be afraid of, and yet it can paralyze one for a very long time. I remember a time when it hit me (the proverbial lightning bolt of understanding) that something that was holding me up from allowing a relationship in my life was fact that I was committed to self-exploration, growth and development. I felt that I was constantly changing and was afraid that a relationship that I committed to today wouldn't be right one in one year, five years, ten years. One day I was thinking of this and came at it from other direction. How much was I going to have to change to start wanting a jerk in my life? Because qualities I was looking for in a relationship all pointed towards allowing someone in who was basically 'nice': loving, supportive, growing, spiritual, etc. And I - finally!-couldn't imagine evolving so much that I was going to stop wanting these particular qualities. In fact, that wouldn't take evolving, but just opposite!
| | Let's Say You're a Dog. Are You So Competitive You'd Eat a Carrot?Written by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach™
Seems like a girl always learns something out on farm! Yes, it’s a farm tale and I’m going to change names of animals to protect guilty!I spent last weekend down in Lower Alabama where my friend from high school owns a farm. On neighboring property there lives a donkey we’ll call “Jake.” On my friend’s property there lives a dog – his dog – we’ll call “Spot.” Okay, not too original, but it serves purpose. So as night falls, evening ritual is to go out and feed animals. Out we go, 3 large carrots in hand – well, his hand. His wife and I are just watching. My friend calls to Jake who, having 5 acres to roam, is nowhere in sight. Spot is circling around my friend, jumping up, spinning around. I’m sure you’ve seen this. Spot has been trained not to bark, but he’s doing every other thing he can to attract attention, and acting ecstatic. Over a carrot?? “Spot’s so jealous, he’ll actually eat a carrot,” says my friend, as we walk along. Now, I’ve owned a couple of dogs in my day. You probably have too. Never did I have one who would eat a carrot. In fact it was a family fun time to watch one dog called Shy Nell when we would put vegetable soup in her dog dish for a treat – Campbells, canned. She’d dive in and 2 seconds later walk away with nothing left in bowl – I mean not even a lick of gravy – except for carefully out-selected squares of carrot.
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