3. They minimize impact of insults, breaches of trust, and harm to others -- e.g., "Everybody does it." or "Why are you so upset? It's no big deal"

4. They attempt to absolve excuse-maker of personal responsibility.

5. They seem to make more sense after fact, than they would have beforehand -- e.g., you might rationalize, "I deserved that pound of Godiva chocolates because I worked hard all day." But would it really make sense to say, "If I work hard today best reward for my efforts is a pound of Godivas?"

It's very tempting to make excuses. In fact it is one of your inner brat's favorite strategies. Excuses serve to protect you from facing your own shortcomings. They also try to keep other people from noticing your limitations. Excuses are a way of saying, "I'm really a good person, but . . ."

At same time, however, excuses are only a temporary, quick fix. You may feel better for moment, but in long run you are dissatisfied with yourself.

No one has ever felt uplifted by making an excuse. Facing truth is sometimes difficult, but it gives you opportunity to take charge, to make positive decisions and to gradually eliminate need for excuses.

Here are some tips:

1. Face fact that you screwed up. For minor transgressions, it's not end of world. For major problems, your excuse isn't going to reverse situation anyway. Things are what they are, and you can only move forward from there.

2. Apologize. Acknowledge that it was your own fault. Keep it simple; e.g., "I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't allow enough time for traffic problems." Notice how this example starts with word "I" in explanation.

3. Offer to make amends; e.g., "I won't let it happen again," or "Is there some way I can make this up to you?"

4. Learn from experience. Make a decision about how you will handle this or similar situations in future.

5. Write down your decision and treat it as a promise to yourself. This is especially useful for excuses you make to yourself, such as when you rationalize procrastination or abandoning your exercise program.

Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and life coach in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004)

Say you take a tour of luxury homes or a grand estate that is now a museum.

You look around and realize you have spent most of your life living in an oversized walk-in closet without knowing it.

Maybe you imagine actually living in such a place.

You imagine reading a book in a room big enough for 30 people and you are only one in it. And other rooms, let’s say 15-20, are empty except for furniture and belongings.

I hasten to add that headaches of maintaining such a residence is substantial, but so is mental adjustment to bigger stage.

Whatever your current stage, mentally visit a bigger and more challenging one.

Do that often enough and one day, your visit will be in real time.