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When father went to use restroom, his son looked at me and said, "I just had no idea he was so frail."
This scenario is a common experience that occurs as seasons change in lives of those we love. The son always saw his dad as strong father figure of years ago. After a bit of probing, some of my questions revealed signs he hadn’t seen. He admitted that his Dad had lost some weight recently, and told me that on their last visit he noticed a few 'Meals on Wheels" boxes sitting in refrigerator, unopened. It was difficult for this loving son to acknowledge that his father had aged and needed assistance with daily tasks. A tear came to son's eyes as he realized he had been in denial, and that he wasn’t helping his father in right way.
If you are wondering whether or not this experience could be yours, ask yourself following questions, and you may quickly find answer.
•Is your parent telling you that he is eating, but you’re seeing food go bad in refrigerator?
•Is s/he covering up bruises from falling that s/he doesn’t want you to see?
•Have you seen your parent wearing same clothes when you go to visit?
•Does s/he hear strange noises in night?
•When you look around house or yard, is it as neat and clean as it used to be?
•Is your parent able to take medications correctly?
•Does your parent respond appropriately to an emergency?
When you really look at your parent, do you see bright and vibrant person from years ago, or do you really see a more limited person who needs some help one hour a day, three hours a day, or around clock?
As children, it is important to recognize when our parents need help. We have a responsibility to see that they are properly cared for, comfortable, and secure. So I ask you once again, . . . have your really looked at your parent lately?
Paulette Kaufman is currently Director of Sales at Keswick Pines, a Lifecare Center in New Jersey, which offers assisted living and comprehensive health care programs to residents, providing personal assistance, nursing care, pain management, and memory impairment support. Ms. Kaufman’s mother has been a resident of Keswick Pines for four years.