Heck, dim lights if you can and play Pachelbel's "Canon Number 9" in background from CD "The Most Relaxing Music in Universe"! For your benefit, if not for theirs.

3. PROVIDE STRUCTURE.

Let them vent for a minute or two, and enjoy it. Then look at your watch (a concrete representation of "time") and say, "Well it's time to get down to business."

4. MAKE IT TIME-LIMITED.

Whether socially or professionally, they can be draining, so set time-limited activities. "Let's meet for lunch at 1. I have to pick up kids at 3, so I'll need to leave at 2:30 and that will give us plenty of time to visit."

5. ALLOW FOR MOTOR RELEASE OF TENSION WHEN POSSIBLE.

(But remove things like coffee cups from vicinity of those moving limbs.) Schedule a lunch meeting where you have to walk several blocks to get to restaurant. They talk better walking beside someone than in typical office situation - having to sit still and look at someone.

6. REMOVE DISTRACTIONS.

If you need to conduct business, provide an agenda. Refer to it when things get off-track. "Ok, that's good. Now let's move on to point 7." Put phone on DND. You'll have your hands full just with this person. You don’t need more going on, and you need them focusing on task as much as possible.

7. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS.

These people need to be pinned in with simple "yes" or "no" questions.

8. ALLOW FOR IMPETUOSITY.

They can get carried away. If you think they've made a premature decision, back up and rephrase, saying, "Let's rethink this a moment." This allows them to collect their thoughts and remove some of emotion. Hyperbole and histrionics are part of their style. Enjoy it, keep your distance, and discount everything about 50%.

9. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Employ tactics that calm you when you're under barrage. Breathe deeply, look away or defocus your eyes, consciously relax your muscles, be patient, don't try to "fix" anything.

10. FOLLOW-UP IN WRITING.

After meeting, send a written memo re: accountability. Go over main points. Sometimes allow them to “get back to you” on things.

She spends less time with them, less frequently, and says less to them. 6. Flowers arrive at house or you see them at her office.

She says they're from her boss, a colleague, her parents, or a friend.

7. Change in your sex life.

More interest in variety in sex and trying new things (she's learning new things from new guy) or she's no longer interested in sex with you.

8. Changes in children's behavior. Children are intuitive. They don't miss what's going on. They're more clingy or more argumentative, not sleeping or eating well, not doing so well at school, or complaining of things like stomach aches.

9. Unaccountable charges on your credit cards. Going over budget.

People having an affair spend money. They buy gifts for their lover, go to motels, rent cars, travel, and buy new enhancements for themselves. Women do this just as much as men.

10. Disappearing to spend time on Internet.

A way to meet new people, or to communicate by email or IM.