Dating a Divorced Guy

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach


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It’s really sad to deny who you are because of your self-talk about previous relationships. You start to reach out forrepparttar other person and then up pipes that voice saying you’ll get hurt, or taken advantage of, it won’t work, or it’s all in vain. You tried it before and it didn’t work.

Well this is a new person and a new beginning. This new person may respond differently. In fact I can almost guarantee you they will. What I’m talking about here is being yourself, separating outrepparttar 101509 past fromrepparttar 101510 present, and treating each man as an individual who will not necessarily behave or respondrepparttar 101511 wayrepparttar 101512 last one did. (Of course if you keep picking losers and think it’s a pattern, please get help.)

The Chinese say you never step twice inrepparttar 101513 same river. It wasn’t giving him back rubs, or being considerate or generous to him that broke up your previous relationship. We throw out a whole set of behaviors because they’re associated with bad outcomes inrepparttar 101514 past. Yes you DO know how to do things and how to make a relationship work; you just were withrepparttar 101515 wrong person, orrepparttar 101516 timing was wrong, orrepparttar 101517 place was wrong. Did you ever consider that?

One ofrepparttar 101518 fun things about dating is when you find out that Modigliani print inrepparttar 101519 living room your ex hated, just thrills your new guy, and this applies to qualities, traits and behaviours as well.

We have to separate out what caused what, and who is who inrepparttar 101520 after-divorce scenario. As I say in my book, “Midlife Dating Manual for Women,” until you can, you aren’t ready to date. You’ll trip all over yourself wanting to do something quite natural, and then slap yourself onrepparttar 101521 wrist. You aren’t emotionally available. Marriages end becauserepparttar 101522 people are no longer being nice to each other. But it wasn’t BEING NICE that got you there. It was other things. You were breathing, weren’t you, when you were with your ex. You still intend to keep doing that, don’t you? Don’t throwrepparttar 101523 baby out withrepparttar 101524 bath water!

Of COURSE find out whatrepparttar 101525 guy likes, and then give it with all your heart if you like him. Just becauserepparttar 101526 last guy didn’t like you, want your attention, appreciate you, or respond to your kindness, doesn’t mean this one won’t. It’s about BEING WHO YOU ARE not worrying about WHAT YOU’RE DOING.

It’s only fun when you can be relaxed and be yourself, including lots of nice little gestures and kindnesses torepparttar 101527 other person, and being able to enjoy giving, receiving, and sharing.

©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses, teleclasses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your success, health, and relationships. Susan is the author of “Midlife Dating Manual for Women,” available here: http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html .


Tips to Posting Personals

Written by Jennifer Lester


Continued from page 1

Idea #3 – Be Optimistic

Let your light and excitement for life shine through in your writing. Negativity is for your therapist, not your prospective lover. Unless you want people to send you referrals to a mental health clinic, don’t let this be a nag session. Smiles are contagious. Let yours show through your words. Remember that confidence without arrogance is one ofrepparttar sexiest traits a person can possess.

Idea #4 – Be Specific

You need to know who you are and who you want to find before you start writing. Then, when you begin, be sure you are specific in your profile. This will help you attractrepparttar 101508 right kind of people. If you don’t want kids, tell them. That way a single parent does not waste their time and yours writing to you. If you love to travel let them know so a person who is up to a lot of adventure knows to come your way. Whatever it is…just spell it out clearly.

Idea #5 – Check for Errors!

Check your of spelling. If you write a personal filled with grammar and/or spelling mistakes it is like showing up for a date dirty, unshaven and in yesterday’s clothes. Someone who puts their best in their personal ad will be more likely to put their best in their relationship. Like in any other situation, if you put your best foot forward, you are more likely to end up with good results.

Idea #6 – Pick a Flattering Photo!

Inrepparttar 101509 spirit of putting your best foot forward, pick a flattering picture of yourself to post with your ad. You can take most regular photos to Kinko’s or camera stores and have them digitized for computer use. Some of these online dating services will even let you send them a regular photo by “snail mail” and they will scan it to post for you. Just don’t throw one up there that was taken with your web cam. Those really are never flattering.

Idea #7 – Get Ideas From Friends and/or Family

Have a friend or loved one write something about you to get you started. Sometimes seeing ourselves through someone else’s eyes can be very enlightening. In fact, a female friend of my husband’s wroterepparttar 101510 ad that I responded to. Gotta say…it worked!

Idea #8 – BE HONEST!!!

Okay, so I really had only 7 ideas, but wanted to repeat this one anyway. BE HONEST!!!! It will get you better results inrepparttar 101511 long run.



Jennifer Lester is an online dating expert who offers her advice and guidance through the world of online dating at her website: http://www.lovepersonally.com – The tour guide to your online dating experience.


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