Here’s an example: Mary wants to talk to John about her discomfort when he regularly leaves lid off toothpaste. She tells him that it really bothers her and, although she knows it is her issue, she would like his help with it.

His choices: A. “Oh, I didn’t know it bothered you that much. I love you and I will be happy to put lid on toothpaste.” (This man is a paragon of virtue ready for sainthood!)

B. “Oh, tell me more about that because I don’t understand it at all.” (He has some communication skills.)

C. “Oh, there you go again. You always have something to complain about. You’re just like your mother. (Oops, we’re soon likely to forget that issue is lid on toothpaste!)

D. “Get over it! Get a life! or Give it up, _____!” ( We are certainly not going to solve ‘lid on toothpaste’ issue in near future.)

Now we can have " ten-for-the-price-of-one" conversations. The issue will come up again and again and become an ongoing example of Mary’s unreasonableness every time John wants to end a conversation. Recognize this? It’s common.

Try this. Stop and take a breath before you say those fated words that you really know may take you into a "10-for-1" conversation. Be curious. Ask for more information. Truly listen and intend to learn something about other person. This has a way of changing relationships for better. Here’s to Albert’s formula for success!

So, self-discipline arises from self-esteem and self-esteem is enhanced by self-discipline. Then, it seems natural that you take a look at your self-esteem. Do you believe that you are worth spending time and/or money on? Do you get "left-overs" of time and resources rather than filling your own cup? It is not unusual to feel that you are being a "good" person when you are self-sacrificing. That's because our society often tells us this is so. Oh, good thinking! The society says so because everyone else benefits from your self-sacrifice. In fact, "sacrifice" itself is an interesting concept. The dictionary says it means "the act of giving up or destroying one thing for sake of something else".

Do you really want to be SELF-sacrificing?