Written by Rhoberta Shaler

Albert Einstein gave us a truthful, if playful, formula. He said, "If A = success,repparttar formula is A = X + Y with X being work, Y being play and Z, keeping your mouth shut.”

I cannot imagine there is anyone who, at some point, has not kicked themselves for saying something when that something would have been better left unsaid. For most of us with any degree of “awareness”, there is that internal voice, whispering, or screaming, “Don’t Do It!”, and yet, out it comes. We know better. We say it. We regret it. This apparently must have also happened to Einstein. Now, isn’t that reassuring?

There is another quote that goes something like this: It is easier to put a speeding bullet back intorepparttar 101902 gun, than to recall words once they have been spoken. We’ve all experiencedrepparttar 101903 regret ofrepparttar 101904 word spoken in anger, revenge or unmindfulness. As most of us are in relationships with others who are much like us, it is highly unlikely that their response to our carelessly chosen words is one of sweetness and light-andrepparttar 101905 struggle is on.

In counseling couples and giving relationship seminars, I call thisrepparttar 101906 “ten-for-the-price-of-one” approach. If we had carefully, thoughtfully and mindfully refrained from those one or two comments,repparttar 101907 one conversation we were having at that time would have stayed on track and, perhaps, been productive. By saying those fated words, we createrepparttar 101908 opportunity to escalate that one conversation. The tone ofrepparttar 101909 conversation changes. The issue becomes broader, usually more personally offensive and more emotionally based. This leads us astray fromrepparttar 101910 intent ofrepparttar 101911 first conversation.


Written by Rhoberta Shaler

For most people,repparttar word "discipline" has an immediate negative connotation. It implies something imposed fromrepparttar 101901 outside, doesn't it? It means that someone or something is controlling or demanding, neither of which are particularly appealing. When we do think about self-discipline, it, too, often has a negative spin because it is seen as difficult and contributing to failure. Can you think about it differently?

Self-discipline is nothing more than keeping your commitments to yourself. If you say something is important and significant to you, then take this little test:

Does that something that you SAY is important show up a significant number of times in either your calendar, or your checkbook, or both? If it does not, then, where isrepparttar 101902 demonstration that it is important to you? Do you regularly do what you say has value to you?

I'm sure you understandrepparttar 101903 picture. I believe behavior, not words. How about you?

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