CHOOSE LIKE EINSTEINWritten by Rhoberta Shaler
Albert Einstein gave us a truthful, if playful, formula. He said, "If A = success, formula is A = X + Y with X being work, Y being play and Z, keeping your mouth shut.”
I cannot imagine there is anyone who, at some point, has not kicked themselves for saying something when that something would have been better left unsaid. For most of us with any degree of “awareness”, there is that internal voice, whispering, or screaming, “Don’t Do It!”, and yet, out it comes. We know better. We say it. We regret it. This apparently must have also happened to Einstein. Now, isn’t that reassuring?
There is another quote that goes something like this: It is easier to put a speeding bullet back into gun, than to recall words once they have been spoken. We’ve all experienced regret of word spoken in anger, revenge or unmindfulness. As most of us are in relationships with others who are much like us, it is highly unlikely that their response to our carelessly chosen words is one of sweetness and light-and struggle is on.
In counseling couples and giving relationship seminars, I call this “ten-for-the-price-of-one” approach. If we had carefully, thoughtfully and mindfully refrained from those one or two comments, one conversation we were having at that time would have stayed on track and, perhaps, been productive. By saying those fated words, we create opportunity to escalate that one conversation. The tone of conversation changes. The issue becomes broader, usually more personally offensive and more emotionally based. This leads us astray from intent of first conversation.
ARE YOU DISCIPLINED?Written by Rhoberta Shaler
For most people, word "discipline" has an immediate negative connotation. It implies something imposed from outside, doesn't it? It means that someone or something is controlling or demanding, neither of which are particularly appealing. When we do think about self-discipline, it, too, often has a negative spin because it is seen as difficult and contributing to failure. Can you think about it differently?
Self-discipline is nothing more than keeping your commitments to yourself. If you say something is important and significant to you, then take this little test:
Does that something that you SAY is important show up a significant number of times in either your calendar, or your checkbook, or both? If it does not, then, where is demonstration that it is important to you? Do you regularly do what you say has value to you?
I'm sure you understand picture. I believe behavior, not words. How about you?