It is easy to resist making necessary changes in our lifestyle. We would rather not acknowledge habits and tolerations that work against us. Change is uncomfortable.

However, it is an unbreakable spiritual law that whatever we resist will persist and thrive by consuming our energy. What are you resisting that could be stealing your energy now?

Discard Time Excuses

“I don’t have time,” usually means one of two things. It either means person doesn’t manage time, or it means that they have other priorities.

Your priorities are completely under your control. They will either give energy to you or take energy away from you. If your priorities are not in harmony with your values, they will consume your energy. If you blame lack of time for low energy or neglect of your personal welfare, you are only fooling yourself.

We are completely responsible for how much time we dedicate to various activities. We either control our schedules or our schedules control us.

If we choose to work ourselves to bone without investing a few minutes in personal growth, it’s not because there is a lack of time. Rather, it’s simply our choice. We must live with its consequences.

Keep Nourishing Your Storehouse of Energy

The ideas I’ve mentioned will help you to create more reserve energy and resiliency. I work from early morning until late afternoon on weekdays, then exercise, read, and relax or socialize during remaining hours.

One of my biggest joys is writing Ezine issues and web pages on Sunday afternoons. The computer plays peaceful, uplifting music as I work. Doing things that we love in compelling ways naturally builds reserve energy. God created us with ability to be very resilient. However, we must nourish that resiliency. So, He also provided ways to laugh, relax, and enjoy improving our lives.

How will you increase your energy reserve and resiliency today?

We can choose to restore our internal energy reserves and become resilient. We can create equilibrium and flexibility by engaging in enjoyable activities, maintaining wellness, and taking responsibility for our time expenditures. Perhaps we can even become as resilient as those bamboo trees!

NOISE

1.Uncurbed cell phone use 2.Strident and harsh tones of voice 3.Talking too much or too loudly 4.Nervous habits – scraping nails on a blackboard, tongue-clicking, finger tapping, throat clearing, humming, talking to yourself out loud 5.Playing music inappropriately 6.Misbehaving pets and children – a dog that barks all night; children out of control in a restaurant 7.Unpleasant voice – cackling laugh, nasal twang 8.Wheezing, coughing, gagging, snoring, snorting, burping, farting, hawking phlegm 9.Inappropriate crying or laughing 10.Disturbing someone’s sleep 11.Loud noises – honking horn, banging desk or cabinet, scraping chair, slamming books, fist or door 12.Drunk and disorderly conduct

MOVEMENT

1.Fidgeting, banging, bouncing, swaying in conversation 2.Moving too fast (don’t startle people) or too slow (“Sunday drivers”) 3.Any unwanted body contact – hugging, hitting, touching 4.Physical harm to another 5.Standing too close

ODORS

1.Body odor 2.Bad breath 3.Cheap dry-cleaned clothes, moth balls on sweater 4.Too strong cologne in closed quarters 5.Burning incense, scented candles, cigarette or cigar smoke 6.Food – bringing sauerkraut into break room, or sardines

VISUAL

1.Exposing body parts inappropriately – cleavage, butt cracks 2.Unclean or unkempt 3.Inappropriate apparel 4.Inappropriate self-grooming in public – cleaning your ears, scratching your genitals, picking your nose 5.Gestures and expressions – rolling eyes, sneering, giving finger, glowering 6.Nervous tics and mannerisms – biting your lip, playing with your hair 7.PDA – public displays of affection

WORDS

1.Profanity 2.Inappropriate sexual references 3.References to body processes and elimination 4.Provocation – saying things designed to arouse (controversial issues such as race, religion, politics and sex) 5.Gossip, slander and libel 6.Complaining, whining, catastrophizing 7.Inappropriate self-disclosure (traumas, addictions, your sex life) 8.Badgering, belaboring, pontificating, or boring others. Know when is enough. 9.Put downs, degrading, insulting, bullying 10.Offering unsolicited advice 11.Monopolizing air time 12.Ignoring someone 13.Shaming and blaming 14.Attacking, sarcasm

EMOTIONS

1.Negativity 2.Hostility 3.Self-pity, victimization 4.Pessimism 5.Copping an attitude 6.Spreading doom and gloom 7.Anxiety without boundaries

BODY FLUIDS

1.Spitting, slobbering 2.Coughing 3.Sneezing 4.Touching someone else’s food or drinking from their cup 5.Unwanted kissing 6.Not flushing toilet 7.Blowing your nose at table

In essence, picture a space around yourself and around other, including space that’s shared (public restroom, airport waiting room). Be good to that space. Treat it with respect.

THE GOLDEN RULE

How do you know what’s respectful? Empathy. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

LET IT ALL HANG IN.

Somewhere along way, “let it all hang out” got out of control. We now need to protect ourselves from one another. Your emotional state, for instance, needn’t be commented upon continually. Nor do we need to know intimate details about your sex life. War stories afflict hearer as much as original recipient. Advice and opinions are best received when invited. Depression is depressing.

It isn’t all about you. It’s about you and others in your environment. Don’t “Jaba Hut” others. Stay in your space.

Space violations engender negative emotions. Emotional management is Emotional Intelligence.

CORRELLARY: When you develop your own Emotional Intelligence, your world will become less rude. Rudeness is a closed feedback loop. People become rude because they’ve been treated badly, and then they turn around and do same thing. When you’ve been assaulted with too much rudeness too long, you become hostile. You quit caring about other.

CHANGE YOURSELF. CHANGE YOUR WORLD.

Clients often tell me after EQ work with me, how much nicer people are. There are some people who are inveterately rude, it’s true, but there are other people who are reacting to what’s coming at them. When you’ve learned to manage yourself, and those around you, you naturally elicit respect.

STOP THE MADNESS

So how do we stop this epidemic of rudeness? Start with yourself. Take a look at list and see how you’re doing.

Then start being POLITE. It’s from Latin “polished” – smooth, round, with no rough edges.

According to m-w, it means “showing or characterized by correct social usage; marked by an appearance of consideration, tact, deference or courtesy; marked by a lack of roughness or crudities.”

Practically speaking? ·Hold door open for someone. ·Say “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “may I?” ·Turn off cell phone. ·Modulate your voice. ·Don’t force your opinions on others. ·Smell good. ·Talk nice. ·Be considerate. ·And work with an EQ coach!

P.S. “Might makes right” only in barnyard. If you’re abusing others with rudeness because you’re boss, father, owner, richest, or biggest, shame on you!