Be Happy, Join The Wednesday Worry Club

Written by Rev. James L. Snyder


Continued from page 1

On Wednesday afternoon when I openrepparttar box,repparttar 118078 cards fall into three categories.

One: Issues that are too late to do anything about. This is my favorite category. The theory being if you postpone anything long enough it will be too late to do anything about it. Many ofrepparttar 118079 red cards fall into this area.

The interesting thing is, whenrepparttar 118080 item is first put onrepparttar 118081 red card and placed inrepparttar 118082 box it seems to be extremely urgent, as though something needed to be done right away. However, placing it inrepparttar 118083 box and forgetting about it until Wednesday takes awayrepparttar 118084 thorn of urgency.

Two: Issues that are no longer urgent, important, or needing any attention at all. This, too, is a favorite category. Too often a certain person in our house, (I'll mention no names), insists that a thing needs immediate attention. However, some things postponed long enough take care of themselves.

Most issues, if left alone, will work themselves out without any outside help. And I consider myself outside help. The further outside,repparttar 118085 more comfortable I feel.

Three: The final category, issues that can be postponed until next week. Many of these are green cards. As I go throughrepparttar 118086 cards, regardless of their color, I try to postpone as many as I can.

There is a finesse in this aspect ofrepparttar 118087 WWC. It takes a long time to develop expertise inrepparttar 118088 area of postponement.

The key to all of this, of course, is to carry about on your person at all times enough colored cards. It is a sad day when I run out of cards, usuallyrepparttar 118089 yellow cards.

Then a thought emerged inrepparttar 118090 back recesses of my mind. How many trees have been used to produce all these 3x5 cards I've been using. Immediately, I brought out a fresh red card and made a notation. I cannot wait until Wednesday to find out how this works out.

Of course, there is a better way thanrepparttar 118091 WWC. David, that marvelous Shepherd Psalmist ofrepparttar 118092 Lord wrote, "Trust inrepparttar 118093 LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV.)

Instead of committing my anxious thoughts to cards, I could "Commit thy way untorepparttar 118094 LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." (Psalms 37:5 KJV).

Recently,repparttar 118095 WWC has given way torepparttar 118096 WNPM (Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting).

Rev. James L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular colunist living in Ocala, FL with his wife, Martha.


TWITS, TWERPS & TWIZZLE STICKS

Written by Theolonius McTavish


Continued from page 1

F: Fadoodle, Fall Guy, Fair Game, Far Out, Fathead, Fizgig, Flake, Fleak, Featherbrained, Feather-Head, Flake, Flapdoodle, Flop, Flounderer, Fluke, Fly-Catcher, Flop, Fonkin, Fopdoodle, Four-oh-Four, Fruitcake, Fruit Loop, Fumbler

G: Gabes, Gadabout, Gadwall, Gaffer, Galoot, “Gates are Down,repparttar Lights are Flashing, butrepparttar 118077 Train Isn’t Coming”, Gawkhead, Gawny, Gerbil, Giddy Goat, Giddyhead, Glom, Goob, Goober, Goof, Goofball, Goof-Off, Goof-Up, Gooby, Googie, Goombah, Goomer, Goonie, Goonie Bird, Goon Head, Goopy, Gooseberry, Goose Cap, Gourd, Groutnoll, Grunt, Guddha, Gudgeon, Guffin, Guffoon, Guffy, Gull, Gumby, Gummy, Gump

H: Half-Ass, Half-Bake, Half-Wit, Harebrained, Hasher, Hayseed, Hick, Hobnail, Hobby Horse, Ho-Daddy, Hoddy-Doddy, Hoddypeak, Hood Ornament, Horrid Horn, Horse’s Arse, Hubble-Bubble Fellow, Humbler, Humpty-Dumpty, Hunk, Hussy

I: Idiot, Ignoramus, Imbecile, Innocent

J: Jabberknowl, Jack-a-Lent, Jackanapes, Jackass, Jarhead, Jerk, Jerkhead, Jester, Jibbernoll, Jingle Brains, Jobbard, Jobbernowl, Jock, Joker, Jolthead, Joltherhead, Juice Head, Jumping Jack

K: Kafkaesque, Klutz, Knobber, Knucklehead, Kook

L: Lame, Lamebrain, Laughingstock, Lights On But Nobody’s Home, Lightweight, Liripoop, Liricomtwang, Lob Cock, Log, Looby, Loon, Looney/ie/y, Looney/ie Tune, Lunie/y, Loose Screw, Loser, Low-Brow, Lubber, Lug Nut, Lummox, Lumpkin, Lunchbucket, Lunk, Lunkhead

M: Mad Hatter, Marplot, Martian, Meatball, Meathead, Melon, Melonhead, Mental Giant, Mental Midget, Mess, Mismanager, Missing Link, Mobard, Mooncalf, Moonshiner, Moony, Mopstick, Moron, Mouth-Breather, Mudcat, Mudding-Face, Muddler, Muddle-headed, Muff, Muffer, Muffin, Mundivagant, Muppet, Murphy, Musher, Mushroom, Mutt, Mutton-Head,

N: Ned Fool, Neddy, Nerd, Nerk, Newt, Nick-Ninny, Niffy-Naffy Fellow, Nigit, Nigmenog, Nimrod, Nincompoop, Ninny, Ninnyhammer, Nit, Nitwit, Nob, Nocky Boy, Nod Cock, Noddipol, Noddy, Noddy Pate, Non Compos Mentis, Noodle, Noodlebrain, Noodlehead, Noodnick/Nudnick, Not-All-There, Not-With-It, Nugget, Numbnuts, Numbskull, Numbwit, Nutbar, Nut Case, Nuts, Nutso, Nutty

O: Oaf, Oddball, Odd Fish, “Off One’s Trolley or Rocker”, Oolfoo, Onionhead, Out-To-Lunch

P: Paper Skull, Pig Widgin, Pillock, Pinhead, Pintail, Pipsqueak, Pixilated, Plodder, Plump-Pate, Poggle, Pointy-Head, Poop, Poop Noddy, Poor Fish, Potato-Head, Powder-Puff, Prawn-Head, Prat, Prick, Pronk, Puggly, “Pull a Boner”, Pumpkin Head, Push-Over

Q: Queer Bird, Queer Fish, Quince

R: Rabbit, Rattlehead, Rockhead, Rube, Rustic

S: Sap, Sap-Pate, Sawney, Scatterbrained, Schlemiel, Schlepper, Schmuck, Schnook, Screwball, Screw Up, Screwy, Shallow Pate, Short Stop, Shot Clog, Silly Willy, Simp, Simpkin, Simple Simon, Simpleminded, Simpleton, Slow-on-the-Uptake, Smerf, Sockhead, Sophead, Spoiler, Square Brain, Stooge, Stoop, Stupe, Stupid as an Ox, Sucker

T: Teabag, Thickhead, Thickskulled, Thick-witted, Tirliry-Puffkin, Toady, Tom Doodle, Tomfool, Tom-Farthing, Torpid, Turkey, Twerp, Twillip, Twit, Twizzle Stick, Two Left Feet

U: Unconnected, Under-Achiever

V: Vortex of Vacuousness, Vapid Vixen, Vegetater, Vestigial Remnant, Vulgarian

W: Wacky, Wall-Hugger, Wally, Was-Bird, Wash-Out, Weener, Weenie, Weeny, Weeney, Whack-a-doo, Whack Job, Whaco, Whiffet, Whifflegig, Whifflling, Wipe-Out, Wiener, Wienie, Wierdie, Wierdo, Wierdy, Windbag, Wind Sock, Wind-Sucker, Wingnut, Wiseacre, Whoop-Dee-Doer, Witless, Witling, Womble, Woodcock, Wooly Crown

Y: Yahoo, Yap, Yard Bird, Yawner, Yawper, Yapper, Yea and Nay Man, Yisser, Yob, Yobbo, Yokel, Yoo-Hoo, Yo-Yo

Z: Zany, Zelda, Zero, Zilch, Zip, Zipalid, Zipperhead, Zipperlid, Zombie, Zuggers, Zwodder

* * *



Theolonius Mctavish, (an irreverent iconoclast with a penchant for pink elephants, Virgos with Cancer rising, and glow-in-the-dark hoola hoops), can often be found lounging about in the Court of The Quipping Queen at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com


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