Gail had such a fulfilling experience that she found a small part-time job in addition to her regular job so that she could afford to buy presents for children at shelter for Christmas. She had such fun buying presents for children and watching their joyous little faces as they opened them on Christmas day! Gail felt anything but alone and lonely.

Gary was in a similar situation to Gail. He was single, had been an only child to parents who were no longer alive, and had no close relatives. His janitorial business did not give him much opportunity to make friends. Gary had spent many lonely holidays feeling isolated and depressed, and decided a few years ago to do something about it.

Gary loved animals. As a child, his dog had been his main connection with love. After some research, Gary discovered that there was a wonderful animal shelter within a half-hour of his home – a shelter that loved and cared for animals and didn’t euthanize them. Gary started to volunteer one day a week on weekends – cleaning, feeding, playing with puppies and kittens, helping to interview people who wanted to adopt a pet, and getting to know other volunteers. He found that he really connected with people who volunteered there. Many of them were loving people who were deeply devoted to caring for animals. As his friendships developed, he found he had a new sense of family centered around shelter. Thanksgiving and Christmas were now sometimes spent with other volunteers who did not have families, and sometimes with families of some of volunteers. Gary’s life had become full and fulfilling. The last I heard, he was dating a woman who also volunteered at animal shelter.

No matter what your life situation is, you can always share your love with others. Instead of feeling alone and lonely this holiday season, open your heart to giving. There are many people and animals out there who would welcome your love.

When we’re in an emotional situation, we can be “flooded” and unable to think clearly. We get “hijacked.” How do you ask for a raise? You ask for a raise. And it can really get painful to be hung up that way.

“It grieves me so to see you in such pain,” she continues in song. “I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again.”

He says he appreciates that, “and would you please explain about 50 ways?”

Slip out back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don’t need to be coy, Roy Just listen to me.

Hop on bus, Gus You don’t need to discuss much Just drop off key, Lee And get yourself free.

And then she has a good idea. “Why don’t we just sleep on it tonight,” she says, and then she kisses him, and he “realized she probably was right … there must be 50 ways to leave your lover.”

Smart girl! She didn’t have a PROBLEM figuring out how to get what she wanted. Emotions motivate us. We will sit on fence until pain gets too bad in one direction, or expected pleasure too great in other direction.

And when we get feelings that motivate us, we discover there must be 50 ways to …

As poet said, “Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.” Emotions are our guides. That’s what Emotional Intelligence is all about.