Self Help: Alone for the Holidays?

Alone for the Holidays?

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

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Title: Alone for repparttar 130532 Holidays? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 667 Category: Personal Growth

ALONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS? By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Being alone is a challenge for many people. This challenge may loom especially large during repparttar 130533 holidays if you are single or newly divorced and without family around you. Holidays are a time to share love, and many people end up feeling depressed when they do not have people around with whom to share love. If you are in this situation, what can you do to make repparttar 130534 holidays joyous rather than depressing?

The key phrase here is SHARE LOVE. Too often people think in terms of getting love rather than giving and sharing their love. They don’t realize that it is repparttar 130535 act of giving their love that is so very fulfilling.

Gail had grown up very lonely in an emotionally distant family, with parents who did not freely give their love and relatives who were also cold and distant. She had married an emotionally distant man, and after 7 years of more loneliness, had decided to leave him. This was her first holiday season alone.

Gail decided that she was not going to be alone and lonely again this holiday season. She did some research on service agencies that needed volunteers and discovered a women’s shelter in her area for women and their children who were hiding from physically abusive husbands. The shelter was badly in need of funds for food, which Gail didn’t have. What she did have was repparttar 130536 time to help gather food. Each day, after her job as a secretary, Gail went around to repparttar 130537 markets in her area until she found some willing to donate Thanksgiving dinners for repparttar 130538 mothers and their children. Then, on Thanksgiving Day, she spent her time at repparttar 130539 shelter cooking, decorating, serving, and having Thanksgiving dinner with these brave women who had left their abusive husbands to save themselves and their children. It was repparttar 130540 best Thanksgiving she ever had! By choosing to share her love with people who needed her, she felt filled with love.

What is your PROBLEM? There Must Be 50 Ways to…”

Written by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™

“What is your problem?” Have you ever gotten exasperated and asked someone that in “that” tone of voice?

Mary: “I want to move near my grandchildren, but how on earth will I move myself up there alone?” You: “Just call a moving company. What is your PROBLEM?”

Abby: “I hate being an entrepreneur, but you have no idea how hard it is to get back into a corporation with all repparttar downsizing. You: “Just call a career coach. What is your PROBLEM?”

Millicent: “I ought to get a raise, but how on earth do I ask him for one?” You: “Just ask. What is your PROBLEM?”

Antonio: “How on earth do I tell my wife I’m in love with another woman?” You: “Just tell her. What is your PROBLEM?”

Liu: “I hate this house. I hate it.” You: You’ve been saying that for 3 years now. What is your PROBLEM?”

What is repparttar 130528 PROBLEM when repparttar 130529 solution is so EASY?

++Easy to us who are on repparttar 130530 outside. ++Easy to us who are not emotionally involved and can therefore be objective ++Easy for us who are not hamstrung by ambivalence (indecision) and can think clearly ++Easy for us because we can think logically, and repparttar 130531 steps are obvious IF repparttar 130532 decision has been made AND there are no emotions involved.

How do you ask for a raise? Gosh, there must be 50 ways to ask for a raise.

Remember that great old song by Paul Simon, “There Must Be 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”? He’s talking with a woman …

”The problem is all inside your head,” she tells him. “The answer is easy if you take it logically. I’d like to help you with your struggle to be free. There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.”

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