I digress. Jamie Oliver and Sainsbury’s. The “Jamie effect” as Sainsbury’s themselves have called it, has boosted their profits by £153m. You can’t say fairer than that.

Whilst we’re on subject of celebrity chefs, Rick Stein aside, one other I have a lot of time for is Kevin Woodford. Though more high profile than Stein, he has also retained some basic human qualities such as humour and a lack of pretence. Speaking of Kevin Woodford also allows me to regale you with something very funny I read in Loaded several years ago.

One of their writers was over on Isle of Man and had popped in to The Waterfront, Woodford’s flagship restaurant, only Mr Woodford wasn’t in kitchen that particular day. As Isle of Man has very strict laws regarding homosexuality (basically, don’t, regardless of your age) writer, John Perry considered that perhaps celebrity chef had gone back to mainland “where his moustache would raise less suspicion.” Very good. Wit and a damning indictment on homophobia all rolled into one.

These chefs do serve one useful purpose though. Highlighting fact that it’s ok for blokes such as me to potter around kitchen without fear of ridicule. We can experiment to our heart’s desire. And whilst we’re on subject, I find it delightful that my stepson is doing cookery at school. He has no choice. It’s part of curriculum. Breaking down barriers of stereotyping is always a good thing. (I’d rather I hadn’t had to try his scones out last week though.)

This is only use for celebrity chefs though. Allowing men into kitchen is too large a price to pay for having them on our screens so often. You may remember I spoke earlier of Rick Stein causing a fish to flap about with bulging eyes. It rather reminded me of chefs themselves.

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I know all this because I found a page on Internet that allowed me learn this. The site is incredibly useful and you are even able to click on a link that allows you to hear their calls. Angling computer speakers by open window, clicking on one of calls brings a whole new element to proceedings. To see a Blue Tit hear a Curlew call over is to see a very confused garden bird indeed.

Now then, we have a Robin that has been getting friendly and I decided to look up details on this most common of British birds and really, was quite staggered by description given.

Apparently, Robin is joined in colder months by, and I quote, “immigrants from continent.” So far, so good, nothing wrong with that. But it was words that followed that had me wondering, for perhaps first time in my life, about whether racism exists within ornithology.

These immigrants are “paler than ours, [and] have a duller red breast.” Now then, things are getting a bit personal, but not overly so.

What took my breath away was fact that I am unlikely to see one of these Europeans because you see, they’re not friendly; they “skulk in woodlands.” Skulk?? I’ve never known a bird to skulk, personally.

Lordy, at any juncture, I expected berries and berets to become a deliberate typo. I’m not sure if person who wrote this description is a Daily Mail reader, but a relaxing read about Britain’s national bird left me feeling uncomfortable, a little hot under collar. They state in final paragraph that “Robins are territorial all year round.”

It would appear they’re not only ones…

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