When we don’t feel safe on inner level, then we try to make ourselves feel safe on outer level, and clutter is one way of doing that. Whether it’s things, such as hair dryers, or information, such as in magazines and newspapers, clutterers do not trust that they will have what they need. In addition, clutterers may be resistant people who see messiness and clutter as a way of not being controlled by someone who wants them to be neat.

HEALING THE ADDICTION TO CLUTTER

Clutter is created and maintained by a wounded, frightened part of oneself, wounded self – part that operates from illusion of having control over people, events, and outcomes. As long as this wounded self is in charge of decisions, clutterer will continue to accumulate clutter as a way to provide comfort and illusion of control over feeling safe, or continue to be messy as a way to resist being controlled.

Healing occurs when individual does inner work necessary to develop a strong, loving adult self. A loving adult is aspect of us that opens to and connects with a spiritual source of wisdom, strength, and love. A loving adult is capable of taking loving action in our own behalf. The loving adult operates from truth rather than from false beliefs of wounded self, and knows that comfort and safety that clutter seems to provide is an illusion – that no matter how much clutter accumulates, clutterer still feels afraid. The loving Adult knows that safety and integrity do not lie in resistance. Only a loving adult who is tuned in to guidance provided by a spiritual source and capable of taking loving action in one’s own behalf can create a sense of inner safety.

Practicing six steps of Inner Bonding that we teach develops this powerful loving adult.

There is a saying that to teach a snake its shape, put it in a box. Our failures can be box that teaches us our shape, and helps us to ascertain how our talents, personality, and learning ability coalesce to form unique creation we are, and help us to fulfill our destiny and purpose.

FAILURES CAN HELP PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE "Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it." How many times have we pursued a goal we thought was important, only to find it didn't bring us rewards we expected? Have we succeeded or failed in our attempt? Billionaire J. Paul Getty blew through five wives and is alienated from his children. Is he a success or a failure?

Our failures highlight our values, and help us to define what is important in our lives. The man who puts family first will probably not have a skyrocketing career, but can certainly be a successful husband and father. The woman who thrives on a high-powered career requiring 80+ hour weeks will undoubtedly be a financial success, but may have to forego success in relationship department. One truism in life is that we can have everything we want in life, just not all at same time. Our failures may help us choose in what area we would like to have success so we can focus our time, effort and energy on that area, and we happily let rest go to sidelines.

One of greatest gifts of failure is knowledge that failure is never final, unless we choose to give up. Discovering that we can turn our lives around, choose a different path, or embrace a new idea at any age or in any set of circumstances is liberating for soul, can motivate us to seek wisdom and experience of others who have had different experiences, and can provide momentum we need to propel us to successes beyond our imaginings.