My real revenge came when I was able to switch rooms for next semester, but before I left I had room to myself since he was home for Winter Break. I started with pouring a strong cologne all over his bed and clothes(to help his new roommate deal with smell). To top things off, I put rancid mayonaise and eggs in a small dish and left them in his fridge over month long break. The sad thing is, when I went to toss out evidence at end of break... room didn't smell any different from it's original foul smell.

I got lucky, because worst of him came out after I moved out and freshman moved in with him. One night he got drunk off 2 liters of a box of red wine by himself at 8:00pm on a Monday. Only to throw up all over his room and all over bathroom, leaving stink to sit for near a week. Oh, and his freshman roommate ended up cleaning up mess in their room. What does this poor soul get in return? He wakes up to sounds of Stink grunting and touching himself while standing over freshman's bed and looking down at him.

dan the roommate man

The next day I get a call from hobo. He told me that he can pull off another prank for me, for more money. It was something along lines of getting a girl he knew to dress like a guy, and then go make out with another girl only to reveal to her that she too is a girl. This dude was wack. So I figured this was my chance to catch this guy and get him to confess to stealing my roomate's camera. I picked him up from ABC liquour store and had my roomate follow my truck close by, just in case this dude decided to pull his knife on me and jimmy shank me. I had also borrowed a tazer from some guy I worked with just in case I had to use it for protection. My hand was gripped on it whole fucking time.

I asked bum about my roomate's camera, to which he gets real defensive and says that last time he saw it, it was laying by bed. At this point I was like fuck this whole situation, I'm just going to try to get ride of this bum and get back our videotape and just buy my roomate a new camera. That was a hard thing to do though because bum didn't want to leave my truck. So I tempted him with some beer. I gave him a couple of bucks to go run into a store and buy some beer. As soon as that bastard left my truck I slammed on my gas peddle and got hell out of there. The next step was to get videotape back, because I didn't want my parents or my roomate's parents knowing about this incident.

I saw a cop on side of road and asked him about getting some evidence back from police station. He asked me what it was, and I told him that it was a videotape. He then started to laugh and said you're that kid that put a bum in your roomate's bed. At this point I felt like a real piece of shit. But I eventually got videotape back. I thought all was fine until a couple of days later I get a call from hobo again in which he threatened to kill me and says that he does have our camera and wants me to come to him to get it. I just told him to go fuck off (at this point I wasn't scared of this dude anymore, just pissed off) and that I had already bought my roomate a new camera.

To conclude this story I got what I deserved, and I know I'm an asshole and should get shit kicked out of me which all my other friends agreed with, and wanted to kick my ass same day camera was stolen. The moral of all this - don't use real bums to pull pranks on your roomates, get a professional actor instead; you might just save yourself $400.

DAN THE ROOMMATE MAN