In addition to being a slob, he was also an alcoholic (or at least aspiring to be). I started off by giving him fair warning that if he pukes on our carpet I would not clean it up and I reserved right to punch him in face. Unfortunately, this didn't come in handy.

Anyways, one day I walk in room to see a large ball of toilet paper with a face drawn on it in marker, sitting on his bookshelf. Not even having to ask him, he says "I made him on toilet, his name is Wilson." Sad? It gets worse. A month later some friends and me take "Wilson" and throw him down steps and tear it up (it was revenge for him leaving ketchup packets on floor for people to step on). He enters room and immediately notices that "Wilson" is gone, and asks me about it. I told him truth and he shuffles himself to bathroom with his head down, only to come back 30 minutes later with an even bigger "Wilson".

I'm going to go ahead and take full responsibility for being crazy asshole roommate in this relationship, but things got pushed over edge when I decided to pull a prank on him one night, even though pranks were pulled every other night. I had another friend of mine distract my roomate away from our apartment while me and another buddy set out into city in search of a homeless person. Of course I wanted to videotape whole experience, so we brought my camera. After about an hour of searching, we pulled into a place called Mike's Beer Barn, where a big black man approached us trying to sell us "Miami Crip", I politely declined his offer and instead told him that if he would agree to go along with this prank I'd buy him some "Natural Ice" (the good shit) and pay him $20 dollars. Now, this dude smelled and dressed like a hobo so he was perfect for part, plus he looked pretty crazy too. I thought this plan was going to be perfect.

We took him back to my apartment where he ate all our mini pocket pizzas, bastard. We then told him to go lay down in my roomates bed until my roomate got back home. He suggested that he could really scare my roomate by pulling out his knife that he had been carrying on him. To this day, I don't know why I didn't stop prank there when he had told me that. Meanwhile, I had my buddy filming whole thing. He was in my roomate's closet so he could catch my roomate's reaction when he saw a homeless man sleeping in his bed. Well when my roomate came home, he opened door to his room, turned on his lights and to his suprise this huge black man jumped out of his bed and started to yell in his face "What fuck are you doing in my room?" All my roomate could do was laugh nervously, while I laughed my ass off in living room.

This continued for a while, with hobo chewing out my roomate and frisking him for stuff that he claims was stolen from "his" room. At one point hobo told my friend to stop laughing, and you could see terror in his eyes. This hobo was unpredictable, and I was enjoying every moment of it. The best was when he told my roomate to leave his room through our circuit breaker. Soon after all this hobo confessed to my roomate that this was all a big prank and we all laughed it off, except my roomate who was still in shock. I know, I'm an asshole.