EQ—Emotional Intelligence—is all those “soft” skills that drive a hard bargain in marketplace. Research is showing what a powerful performance differentiator it is, separating outstanding performers from average performers.

The four domains of Emotional Intelligence are: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Within these groups there are 18 competencies, one of which directly predicts good sales people, and all of which contribute.

Now, selling something is nothing so much as relationship, conversation. It means being able to present your item to person in such a way they’ll see benefit to them and want to buy it. To do this, you must assess person and speak their language.

For instance, you cannot sell best heater in world to a freezing Intuit if any of following takes place: ·If you do not speak Intuit and they do not speak English ·If it is taboo in their culture to have an electric heater ·If you inadvertently insult or offend Intuit because of lack of knowledge of their culture, or low EQ skills

The more multicultural we get, more flexible most of us are, but there are some things considered inexcusable in every culture that are best avoided. If you’re spending a lot of time with folks from that culture, it’s best to read up, or study with a coach.

We’d all agree, for instance, that to show up to look at a house naked is inappropriate, in any culture, at any time. Beyond that, your particular shopper may be sporting a nose ring, fishnet hose, a 3-piece suit, blue jeans, a sarong, a toupee, a 10 carat diamond ring, or grease and oil all over his shirt and fingernails, and may show up in a brand new Jaguar, or a 7-year-old Chevy truck.

Each of these markers is a nonverbal clue to you about person, how best to relate to them, and how best to sell your product.

Okay, here’s EQ Quiz:

Showing House:

Paul walks clients through saying little, and when he does, he says, “Nice living room,”or “beautiful fireplace, don’t you think?” Mary walks clients through talking a good bit of time saying things like, “This looks like it would be big enough for your music room,” and “There’s perfect spot for your fig trees.”

Question: Who’s most likely to make sale, Paul or Mary?

Romancing Homeowner:

Robert Realtor wants Harriet Homeowner to lower her price. He leaves customers in living room and walks into Harriet’s study where she’s at computer. “So you’re ready to move?” he says. “Where are going to?” “Dallas,” she replies. “Well, you’re gonna become a great Dallas fan, huh? Big game this weekend. If Cowboys can keep them off of Carter long enough to get ball downfield, there could be plenty of big plays from receivers. You’re gonna love those Cowboys.” Then his cell phone rings, he pulls it out of his pocket and starts talking.

Title: Are You Addicted To Your Activities? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 753 Category: Addiction, Emotional Healing

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO YOUR ACTIVITIES? Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV, meditation - can be a wonderful way to relax, express yourself, or connect to yourself. Or they can be an addiction. How can you know difference?

* Angie would surf channels whenever she felt stressed or alone.

* Karen would lose herself in a book when things felt overwhelming.

* Keith would retreat and meditate when his wife wanted to talk.

* Patty’s work schedule left her little time at home.

* Carl spent more time in garage fixing things than with his family.

* Patrick’s love of running was interfering with his family time.

Whether or not an activity is an addiction depends upon your INTENT.

* When intent of an activity is to avoid pain of aloneness and loneliness, it is an addiction.

* When intent of an activity is to avoid pain of rejection or fear of domination, it is an addiction.

* When intent of an activity is to put off doing something you don’t really want to do but need to do, it is an addiction.

Whenever an activity is used as a way to avoid something - painful feelings, difficult or boring tasks - it becomes an addiction. It’s really no different than using substances such alcohol, drugs, or food to avoid painful feelings or challenging tasks. The problem with using addictions to avoid painful feelings is that feelings don’t actually go away. They are just numbed for moment but are silently eroding one’s sense of self. We can get away with it only for so long before it shows up in some way - illness, divorce, depression, and so on. And avoiding tasks means that tasks pile up, eventually causing very stress we want to avoid. Our society is filled with ways to avoid. Yet it is avoidance that leads to very feelings we are striving to avoid!