Along with any tough decision comes reluctance, especially when that decision involves an actual process and might potentially involve emotional pain or anguish. Deciding whether or not to get a divorce or stay married can be a frightening time for most people, even if they know deep inside themselves that they have to actually make a decision, one way or another.People are reluctant to embark on an 'emotionally driven' decision making process because they fear that it will be uncomfortable or painful for them. The irony here is obvious...if they need to make this decision, their life or a portion if it, is already uncomfortable. One thing is for certain, deciding whether to get a divorce or stay married is indeed a process.
This process, like any other, includes key elements…elements that need to be examined. The elements of this process are self-revealing and can only come from within
person making decision. The decision making process is comprised of stages and viewpoints about those stages. Stages are smaller pieces of overall process and viewpoints of each of those stages are only defined by person making decision. If you're trying to decide whether or not you should get a divorce or stay married, you must look at stage of life you are currently in, and understand how you feel about it by clearly defining your viewpoint about it.
Are you completely unhappy?
Relatively unhappy?
Partially unhappy?
Do you feel that your marriage is unhealthy enough that you intend to do something about it?
Etc.
You can look back in past and reflect on other stages of your life and examine how you felt about those stages if they contributed to your problem as you view it now. Reflecting on past can be an effective way to identify key occurrences that may have shaped way your viewpoint is currently. Reflecting also can help you to identify trends in behavior that may have contributed to your viewpoint. But in end, viewpoint and stage that matters most is current one and that's one that you need to define and assess most.
It is human tendency to reflect on past and hold onto thoughts and feelings that were once good, but doing this might keep you in a stale mate if you dwell on past too much. You have to look at present time and actually "decide to decide" so to speak. Once you do realize that you need to decide whether or not to get a divorce, there will be things that will creep up that will actually keep you from taking action and deciding.
