Understanding the Three Levels of Obedience for a Three-Year-Old

Written by Maren Schmidt


Understandingrepparttar Three Levels of Obedience for a Three-Year-Old

Sometimes when I am working onrepparttar 149873 computer, I feel like a three-year-old. At least, I think I feel like a three-year-old. I try to do some function that I haven't done in a while, and I look atrepparttar 149874 computer screen wondering how I did it. When I am utterly confused, I'll phone one of my daughters and ask, "How do I?" Fortunately for me, they always laugh and say, "Oh, Momma!"

What does this have to do with a three-year old? A three-year-old is having new experiences, learning new skills and working on self-mastery of those skills, just like I do onrepparttar 149875 computer. Some days they can do something on their own, and other days they need assistance. This is because learning occurs in three stages, as follows:

Atrepparttar 149876 first stage, we can do an activity with assistance. Atrepparttar 149877 second stage, we can do an activity when we are asked to do it. Atrepparttar 149878 third stage, we can dorepparttar 149879 activity independently and are fully aware of when it needs to be done.

Inrepparttar 149880 example of my computer skills, trying to learn how to double-line format was a challenge. The first time, I had to be shownrepparttar 149881 series of steps. First stage. Then I could do it when someone reminded me ofrepparttar 149882 steps. Second stage. I am proud to report that I can now do it with no assistance and no reminders. Third stage, or independence.

As we learn new skills, we go back and forth between stages one and two. What leads us to independence is repeatingrepparttar 149883 activity with additional instruction. This independence allows us to obey a command or request.

Obey. We tend to think that it means, "to carry out a command without question." The word obey comes fromrepparttar 149884 Latin oboediere, meaning "to listen or to hear." To obey, we listen and then make a choice to followrepparttar 149885 command. If we hear a command from someone we trust, we will usually choose to carry outrepparttar 149886 command, if we know how to do it and have no conflicting information. We can also follow a command out of fear. Torepparttar 149887 casual observer it might appear in both instances thatrepparttar 149888 command has been followed without question.

Forrepparttar 149889 participants in an activity, command giver/command follower, teacher/student or parent/child,repparttar 149890 dynamics of fear and trust create a relationship. To build a relationship based on trust, it is critical to understandrepparttar 149891 skills necessary to accomplish a command.

Most three-year-olds have a strong desire to pleaserepparttar 149892 adults in their lives and are willing to do what we ask. What children lack arerepparttar 149893 experience andrepparttar 149894 skill. We can look at their ability to obey or level of obedience in this way:

First Level: will | no experience | no skill Second Level: will | experience | no skill Third Level: will | experience | skill

In a trusting relationship,repparttar 149895 child is eager to learn new activities. Remembering allrepparttar 149896 steps in an activity is difficult, and children need to be shown many times. Because they are keen to learn, children are always watching others, which is a reason to be a good example.

To master a skill, children need to repeat an activity perhaps hundreds of times. Children needrepparttar 149897 opportunity to do activities uninterrupted withrepparttar 149898 freedom to make mistakes without being corrected duringrepparttar 149899 activity. The exception to this is when there is immediate danger torepparttar 149900 child or property. Observing a child's "mistakes" and "messes" gives us a clue of what needs to be retaught. Also, being interrupted or not being allowed to finish an activity can berepparttar 149901 cause of frustration that may be expressed as a temper tantrum.

Taming the Television Monster

Written by Maren Schmidt


"All my three- and four-year-old want to do is watch TV. They fuss about having to turn offrepparttar TV at dinner and bedtime. They wouldn't even play with their friends yesterday because their favorite shows were on. I think I've let it get out of hand," lamented Robin.

I was impressed to hear Robin take responsibility forrepparttar 149872 situation. Television is an easy thing to let take over, with big screens and DVD players, surround sound, 100 cable stations and children's stations. Children are usually quiet when they are watching TV, so it can ease into our lives with no awareness. Video and computer games could be included in this discussion.

Children underrepparttar 149873 age of six want to be near you allrepparttar 149874 time it seems. Why fight it? Use it to your advantage. How? By setting up an activity center in your home. In a short time,repparttar 149875 center will be more satisfying to your children than television.

I recommend that every home with small children have a child-sized table and chairs. Small shelves can be purchased inexpensively at an office supply or discount store. White melamine boards and glass blocks purchased from a building supply also make an attractive three-shelf unit for an activity center. The kitchen, dining room or family room are good areas to put your activity center.

After you have shelves, put six to ten activities onrepparttar 149876 shelves in baskets or trays. A crafty friend of mine used wallpaper to cover oatmeal and shoe boxes for their center. This is a sample of what might be onrepparttar 149877 shelves:

A puzzle board A basket of duplo blocks A wooden bead stringing exercise A shoe lacing activity A basket of three or four books A basket of wooden blocks Button sorting in a muffin tin or egg carton

For four-year-olds and up, add art activities such as colored pencils and paper on a tray, homemade salt dough with a plastic place mat or a mosaic gluing activity with a glue stick and colored bits of paper.

Show your children how to use these things properly and how to return them to order onrepparttar 149878 shelves. You might want to change out items every week or two. Giverepparttar 149879 children about a week to get used to usingrepparttar 149880 activities.

Next comesrepparttar 149881 challenging part. One night afterrepparttar 149882 children are asleep, unplug all ofrepparttar 149883 television sets. If you have any budding electrical engineers, you might have to turnrepparttar 149884 electricity torepparttar 149885 television off atrepparttar 149886 breaker. Whenrepparttar 149887 children try to turn onrepparttar 149888 televisionrepparttar 149889 next day, they will "discover" that it doesn't work.

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