The MYTH of Work-Life Balance: Stop Juggling, Start Living(c) 2004 Shawn Driscoll, Succeed Coaching & Development
As a parent and coach, I hear
same refrain on a weekly basis … “I need more life balance”. I believe promise of work-life balance is a myth because it suggests that there is a perfectly balanced state that we can achieve, if only we were “better” time managers, or more efficient, or able to say NO more. And, while it may be true that we could improve in way we spend our time and by saying “no” a bit more, reality is that we’d still be struggling to keep our balance. Why? Because we are thinking of it as “keeping balance” in first place.
Just think about what image word “balance” conjures up for you…perhaps you think about riding a bike, balancing a ball on your finger, or maybe scales or a teeter totter. And think of what is required in each of these situations to maintain balance…sustained effort. You see, maintaining balance requires ongoing effort, a constant juggling of either side of equation, in order to stay centered. Stop juggling or moving and things start tumbling down around you. Who has energy for that?
All effort we are putting into getting “balance” is part of why we always feel “out of balance”. We spend far too much energy juggling schedules, commitments, and interests, trying in vein to even it all out over time. As humans, we simply cannot effectively compartmentalize our lives enough to make balance equation work.
So, what are we to do if work life-balance is a myth? I strongly advocate a work-life integration approach. Get work and life out of competition with each other—stop positioning them as polar opposites of this delicate balancing act—and start integrating two together. A well integrated life IS balanced, and with far less struggle. The goal is to create lifestyle you want so that it becomes nearly effortless to keep in balance. Sound too good to be true? Perhaps, but I have seen it work. It takes time, effort, and commitment to get started, but in long run, it can make all difference. There are 3 keys to starting to live a well integrated life:
1.Orient your actions and goals around your values 2.Recognize choice or solutions in each situation, rather than always compromising 3.Find and fix source of any imbalance (which usually is caused by trying to compartmentalize things or control too much)
ORIENT AROUND YOUR VALUES
What is it you most value in your life? Write down list of everything you hold dear. Not what you “should” value, but what you actually value….family, contribution, excitement, passion, purpose, creativity, mastery… whatever is “it” for you. Now choose top three that you want to be your legacy. Once you have these selected ask yourself: “How much of my time am I spending on things that support and embody these values?” If it’s not where you want it to be, decide what you will do about it.
